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Captain Cons

Tom Brady And His Watch Were The Biggest Losers Of Championship Sunday

"Money can't buy you class." - Countess Luann de Lesseps I'll keep this short and to the point - that watch is all types of ugly.  "But Cons, it's a Patek Philippe and cost over $600K, you're just a hater!" Two things can be true 1. I am a generational hater. I truly am trying to stop hating so much

Breaking Down The Best Grocery Lists Ahead Of The Apocalyptic Snowstorm Of the Century

It's coming folks.  For the life of me, I cannot recall another time in my 41 years on God's green earth when 80% of the country was gearing up to get put in a rear naked choke by Mother Nature at the same time. On the one hand, that is terrifying. Truthfully. Did you see the pocket of the country t

Safe To Say That SommeliCHEAH Is A Success And Everyone Needs To Subscribe

Unless you've been under a rock the last few weeks, you've no doubt noticed the new show from the ever entertaining, often imitated but never duplicated, Steven Cheah. This show is sweeping the nation and gripping us with its full force because while your unbearable neighbor Sharon wants to tell you

Best Of 2025 - Gen Z's Latest Victim: House Parties

One thing you realize as you get older is that it's very easy to find yourself saying some form of "back in my day" on a regular basis when you see kids doing something nowadays. I suspect every Friday at the Barstool Summer House down the shore we might find Dante circling up the kids to tell them 

Why We Need Army-Navy Now More Than Ever

HOLY MOLY the last 24 hours have been bananas across the college football world. There are no two ways about it, the only word that can be used to describe the state of college football right now is "turmoil." I do not want to dive into whether the CFP got it right or wrong, who should be in versus 

In Condemnation Of White Sox Dave

In an effort to not let things get too cozy around here, I am back this week to go in the complete opposite direction of the blog I penned earlier this week about Rico Bosco. I am coming straight for the head of that raccoon mutant, White Sox Dave, and his brand new hair that he refuses to let out o

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Captain Cons

Co Host of Zero Blog Thirty. Barstool Breakfast’s favorite cousin. Did you know I played football at West Point? Beat Navy.

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Captain Cons Merch

Unfiltered. Unapologetic. In Your Inbox.