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Paris 2024
It is With a Heavy Heart We Say Goodbye to Olympic Breakdancing Forever. The IOC is Not Bringing it Back for LA 2028.
Jerry Thornton
8/13/24 6:00 PM
The IOC is Demanding Jordan Chiles Give Her Bronze Medal to a Romanian She Outperformed. She's Refusing. Team USA Has Receipts. So It's War, Then.
Jerry Thornton
8/12/24 3:50 PM
A Proud Nation Congratulates Team USA for the Gold Medals They Were Awarded in Paris Today. In Figure Skating.
Jerry Thornton
8/7/24 4:10 PM
Simone Biles and Suni Lee Have the Perfect Explanation for Why They Both Fell off the Balance Beam: The Crowd Was Too Quiet
Jerry Thornton
8/6/24 5:40 PM
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Women's Rights Groups are Offended by Beach Volleyball Uniforms. Just Not the Women Who Actually Compete in Beach Volleyball.
Jerry Thornton
8/5/24 4:00 PM
The Agony of Defeat Personified: Tom Kim Cried Real Tears After a Double Bogey on the 18th Means He's Headed to Mandatory Military Service
Jerry Thornton
8/5/24 2:10 PM
'Athletes Don't Want Fake Meat': Emergency Shipments of Actual Food are Being Rushed to 'the Vegan Olympics'
Jerry Thornton
8/2/24 5:40 PM
The 'Jennifer Aniston Look Alike' Mom Who Flashes Her Bra at the Cameras During the Tennis Match is Keeping the Olympic Spirit Alive
Jerry Thornton
8/2/24 3:10 PM
UNREAL: Spiff Sedrick Truck Sticks Australia, Goes 94 Meters On A Buzzer-Beater Run To Give USA Women's Rugby Our First Ever Medal
Reags
7/30/24 9:30 PM
A 61-Year-Old is in the Olympics Harvesting Souls Half Her Age
Jerry Thornton
7/29/24 8:50 PM
Stephen Nedoroscik, The Glasses-Wearing Pommel Horse Dude, Is The Newest US Olympic Star After Delivering A Clutch Performance To Win Us A Medal
Reags
7/29/24 7:10 PM
It Turns Out Cracking a Joke About Women Swimmers 'Doing Their Makeup' WILL Get You Fired From Covering the Olympics
Jerry Thornton
7/29/24 6:00 PM
We Need To Recruit More NBA Players To Dominate Volleyball After Watching Chase Budinger Smoke France In His First Olympic Match
Reags
7/29/24 3:50 PM
"Bob The Cap Catcher" Better Be Getting Plenty Of Ass In The Olympic Village This Summer
Jordie
7/29/24 1:40 PM
When Team USA's Finest Female Athletes are Complaining They Can't Find Tinder Hookups in Paris, What's the Point of Even Having the Olympics?
Jerry Thornton
7/26/24 4:50 PM
The Boston Globe Being Upset We're Not About to Host the Olympics is the Stupidest Take in the History of Takes
Jerry Thornton
7/24/24 6:20 PM
Hooking Up Olympians' Parents to Heart Monitors is Just One of Many Terrible Ideas NBC Has in Mind for Paris 2024
Jerry Thornton
4/22/24 8:50 PM
The Paris Olympics are Under Investigation - and Stop Me if You've Heard This Before - for Corruption
Jerry Thornton
6/21/23 4:40 PM
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