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Paris 2024

It is With a Heavy Heart We Say Goodbye to Olympic Breakdancing Forever. The IOC is Not Bringing it Back for LA 2028.

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
8/13/24
87Comments
It is With a Heavy Heart We Say Goodbye to Olympic Breakdancing Forever. The IOC is Not Bringing it Back for LA 2028.

The IOC is Demanding Jordan Chiles Give Her Bronze Medal to a Romanian She Outperformed. She's Refusing. Team USA Has Receipts. So It's War, Then.

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
8/12/24
152Comments
The IOC is Demanding Jordan Chiles Give Her Bronze Medal to a Romanian She Outperformed. She's Refusing. Team USA Has Receipts. So It's War, Then.

A Proud Nation Congratulates Team USA for the Gold Medals They Were Awarded in Paris Today. In Figure Skating.

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
8/7/24
11Comments
A Proud Nation Congratulates Team USA for the Gold Medals They Were Awarded in Paris Today. In Figure Skating.

Simone Biles and Suni Lee Have the Perfect Explanation for Why They Both Fell off the Balance Beam: The Crowd Was Too Quiet

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
8/6/24
107Comments

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Women's Rights Groups are Offended by Beach Volleyball Uniforms. Just Not the Women Who Actually Compete in Beach Volleyball.

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
8/5/24
184Comments
Women's Rights Groups are Offended by Beach Volleyball Uniforms. Just Not the Women Who Actually Compete in Beach Volleyball.

The Agony of Defeat Personified: Tom Kim Cried Real Tears After a Double Bogey on the 18th Means He's Headed to Mandatory Military Service

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
8/5/24
34Comments
The Agony of Defeat Personified: Tom Kim Cried Real Tears After a Double Bogey on the 18th Means He's Headed to Mandatory Military Service

'Athletes Don't Want Fake Meat': Emergency Shipments of Actual Food are Being Rushed to 'the Vegan Olympics'

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
8/2/24
99Comments
'Athletes Don't Want Fake Meat': Emergency Shipments of Actual Food are Being Rushed to 'the Vegan Olympics'

The 'Jennifer Aniston Look Alike' Mom Who Flashes Her Bra at the Cameras During the Tennis Match is Keeping the Olympic Spirit Alive

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
8/2/24
75Comments
The 'Jennifer Aniston Look Alike' Mom Who Flashes Her Bra at the Cameras During the Tennis Match is Keeping the Olympic Spirit Alive

UNREAL: Spiff Sedrick Truck Sticks Australia, Goes 94 Meters On A Buzzer-Beater Run To Give USA Women's Rugby Our First Ever Medal

Reags

Reags

•
7/30/24
57Comments
UNREAL: Spiff Sedrick Truck Sticks Australia, Goes 94 Meters On A Buzzer-Beater Run To Give USA Women's Rugby Our First Ever Medal

A 61-Year-Old is in the Olympics Harvesting Souls Half Her Age

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
7/29/24
38Comments
A 61-Year-Old is in the Olympics Harvesting Souls Half Her Age

Stephen Nedoroscik, The Glasses-Wearing Pommel Horse Dude, Is The Newest US Olympic Star After Delivering A Clutch Performance To Win Us A Medal

Reags

Reags

•
7/29/24
17Comments
Stephen Nedoroscik, The Glasses-Wearing Pommel Horse Dude, Is The Newest US Olympic Star After Delivering A Clutch Performance To Win Us A Medal

It Turns Out Cracking a Joke About Women Swimmers 'Doing Their Makeup' WILL Get You Fired From Covering the Olympics

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
7/29/24
47Comments
It Turns Out Cracking a Joke About Women Swimmers 'Doing Their Makeup' WILL Get You Fired From Covering the Olympics

We Need To Recruit More NBA Players To Dominate Volleyball After Watching Chase Budinger Smoke France In His First Olympic Match

Reags

Reags

•
7/29/24
12Comments
We Need To Recruit More NBA Players To Dominate Volleyball After Watching Chase Budinger Smoke France In His First Olympic Match

"Bob The Cap Catcher" Better Be Getting Plenty Of Ass In The Olympic Village This Summer

Jordie

Jordie

•
7/29/24
6Comments
"Bob The Cap Catcher" Better Be Getting Plenty Of Ass In The Olympic Village This Summer

When Team USA's Finest Female Athletes are Complaining They Can't Find Tinder Hookups in Paris, What's the Point of Even Having the Olympics?

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
7/26/24
72Comments
When Team USA's Finest Female Athletes are Complaining They Can't Find Tinder Hookups in Paris, What's the Point of Even Having the Olympics?

The Boston Globe Being Upset We're Not About to Host the Olympics is the Stupidest Take in the History of Takes

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
7/24/24
57Comments
The Boston Globe Being Upset We're Not About to Host the Olympics is the Stupidest Take in the History of Takes

Hooking Up Olympians' Parents to Heart Monitors is Just One of Many Terrible Ideas NBC Has in Mind for Paris 2024

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
4/22/24
15Comments
Hooking Up Olympians' Parents to Heart Monitors is Just One of Many Terrible Ideas NBC Has in Mind for Paris 2024

The Paris Olympics are Under Investigation - and Stop Me if You've Heard This Before - for Corruption

Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton

•
6/21/23
16Comments
The Paris Olympics are Under Investigation - and Stop Me if You've Heard This Before - for Corruption
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