Women's Rights Groups are Offended by Beach Volleyball Uniforms. Just Not the Women Who Actually Compete in Beach Volleyball.

MAURO PIMENTEL. Getty Images.

Beach Volleyball first appeared in the Olympics at the Barcelona Games as an introductory sport in 1992. And became an official event four years later in Atlanta. Making Paris 2024 the ninth Olympics to include it. Currently 24 countries compete, making it truly a worldwide phenomenon. And it has long enjoyed front-and-center status, with picturesque venues such as London's Horse Guards Parade off Whitehall and of course this year, right at the foot of the Eiffel Tower. When the Olympics assign you the kinds of locations that are typically the first to get destroyed by aliens or natural disasters in a Roland Emmerich movie, you know you've reached the peak of international popularity. 

Which, the world being a terrible place, guarantees somebody somewhere is going to be cheesed off about the fact lots of people enjoy watching it:

Source - Beach Volleyball is one of the most popular sports in the Olympic Games each year - and often the most talked about.

The stark differences between uniforms for men and women are often pointed out, with the latter wearing figure hugging high-rise bikinis, whereas their male counterparts don loose loose tank tops and shorts. ..

[In 2012] the International League for Women's Rights held a protest in the capital city against gender discrimination in the sport. 

At the time, Annie Sugier, spokeswoman for the International League for Women's Rights, told Forbes: 'They are using women's bodies as sex.

'It is all about money. It makes women look like objects and it is a clear case of sexism.'

At the time, female athletes said that while people may tune in to view them in tight swimwear, they will stay for the sport. …

Aussie Natalie Cook said she was 'OK with it' as it is the 'only sport where women dominate,' whereas Misty May-Treanor added that 'what you see is what you get'.

Some women actually prefer wearing bikinis as they say two-pieces prevent sand from getting trapped in their uniform, as they dive into the ground to save the ball.

Retired player Jennifer Kessy told Today that that sand was 'restricting' and 'limiting' her movements. …

Female volleyball players are now allowed to play their sport in leggings, with Marie-Sara Stochlova from the Czech Republic recently taking advantage of the changes.

French players Alexia Richard and Lezana Placette donned shorts and t-shirts under their bikini tops last week.

OK, so to compete in this Sport of Queens, you're not required to dress like you're working a Champagne Room off the Vegas Strip? So it's Case: Closed then, right? The official policy is "You do you," which should pretty much end the conversation. The Natalie Cooks, Misty May-Treanors and Jennifer Kessys of the world have long hated sand more than Anakin Skywalker. The Czechs and French prefer covering up. To each her own. 

And sure, we could go all Toxic Masculinity on this topic, with cheap, low-hanging fruit jokes. 

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Like this one that has been shared 6,400 times, with about half of those texted to me:

But this isn't about the Male Gaze. This is about Everybody's Gaze. This is about the Human Gaze. Does anyone think Beach Volleyball would be one of the Summer Olympics' signature events if only half the population was watching it? 

We're only flesh and blood. And it's in our DNA to want to see attractive people dressed attractively showing off their attractiveness. Including, though not limited to, while they're doing something super athletic. You can object to it, like the killjoys from the International League for Women's Rights. But you're only fighting nature. Human evolution doesn't care what upsets you. 

More to the point, it's not like this gate only swings one way. Let us look no further than to the most homoerotic moment in cinema history, which also involves the most sexually desirable people in our species playing this same sport:

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But we don't have to go back four decades. These have been, without a doubt, the most wang-centric Olympics since the Ancient Greeks were competing nude:

But you don't see Men's Groups demanding a stop to the revealing outfits. Or those of us sensitive about our own manhoods (I raise my hand) asking that these gentlemen don codpieces in order to protect our delicate sensibilities. We understand when you invite the most athletically gifted young people from around the world to gather together, a high percentage of the competitors are going to have sexually desirable traits the average homo sapiens does not. And the only fair approach is to let them flaunt it if they've got it. It certainly hasn't hurt the sport of Beach Volleyball, the Olympics or the TV ratings one damned bit, no matter how much Annie Sugier and the ILWR hate it.