Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 41 - The Waiter Special Voice

-The terms “I’m up for whatever” and “I’m down for whatever” have the exact same meaning, but “up” and “down” are polar opposite words. Fascinating. 

-My backup plan in life: become an esteemed art salesman. Make my own weird, eccentric art. Tell snobby, rich people that it was made by some up and coming foreign artist. Sell it for a ton of money. I’d be a millionaire within two weeks time. 

-I always feel good about myself when I beat a cashier to saying “Have a good day.” Makes me feel like I beat them in an unofficial friendly contest. 

-I have a theory that batteries actually have infinite energy. People always change batteries in a remote or something when it says low battery, but that’s just the companies trying to get you to keep buying new ones. I’ve often waited it out and had them last way longer than they should have. I’m onto you, batteries. 

-I think all waiters have a distinct voice they use to read specials. They all do it the same exact way. They lower their voice to a near-whisper and use some made up accent. 

*Please see video for demonstration*

It’s oddly satisfying and might make a good ASMR video. 

-When someone refers to their friend or friends as their “buddy” or “buddies” – that annoys me. It is an admittedly irrational pet peeve of mine.

-I often wonder what technology we won’t understand when we’re old. Most old bags right now don’t know how to work iPhones and shit. What stuff will exist 60 years from now that’s beyond our imagination? Will we look at it as foreign and not be able to understand it? Or will we be able to adapt as a more technologically-skilled generation?

-Saying “let’s play it by ear” is one of the more stupid phrases that we use as a society. What does that even mean?

-I’m not sure if it’s considered rude to put your headphones in when in an Uber. What if the driver has something to say to me? But I also want to listen to my own music. So typically I just put one in and leave one out. Good compromise. 

Audience Thought Of The Week

If you have a thought you want to be included in this blog, hit me up on Twitter/Instagram @tomscibelli and I’ll include the best one of the week.

From @davidpeterson88 on Instagram

-Why is it called chicken parmesan when the cheese is mozzarella?

Thank you for your time.