Tommy's Thursday Thoughts

Tommy Smokes

For The Table

Jesus Should Be Everyone's #1 Overall Dream Dinner Guest

-For the “who are your 3 dream dinner guests?” question, I feel like every person should choose Jesus as their first overall pick. Because even if you’re not religious and you don’t believe in God, I think you just gotta the lowdown. See what he’s all about. Is he really the son of God or was he jus

Anyone Who Still Uses Chopsticks Is Just A Show Off

-I don’t like when restaurants try to “do too much” as the kids say and serve too many different types of food. I prefer when they stick to one cuisine and perfect it. I want steakhouses just doing steak. I want Italian places just doing Italian. I want Asian places just doing Asian and so on and so

I May Not Have Any Toxic Masculinity. But I Do Draw A Line Somewhere

-I’m not someone who cares about manliness and appearing like some rugged man (obviously). I have less toxic masculinity than maybe any man on this planet. I almost exclusively order girly pink drinks. The only shot I’ll do is green tea. I have never even considered throwing a punch. I once put on a

We Don't Talk Enough About How Insane It Is That Parrots Speak English

-I think it’s crazy that people debate if it’s harder to move from a rural area to a big city or from a big city to a rural area. It’s infinitely easier to move from the countryside to the city. You just get more things. There’s nothing hard about that. I hate hearing people complain “Oh God it’s so

As A Kid, Being Fast Was The Most Important Quality A Person Could Have

-I think that it’s dumb that Catholic schools don’t teach evolution, and the reason is that the concept of evolution should just make people believe in God even more. I watched one evolution documentary recently, and I came out of it thinking “Well, there’s just no way any of that shit is real.” And

Things I Thought In 2021

Here are the thoughts I thunk in 2021 that I feel strongest about. Topics in video include: -making elevator rides awkward -ideal seating arrangements -foot fetishes -dumb kids being dumb -a genius idea for an iPhone feature -first world problems -building bombs -million dollar ideal for bagel place

Barstool Sports Homepage

This layout is the Featured section for barstoolsports.com and the Barstool iOS app.

Featured Section

Slot 1

Slot 2

Slot 3

This layout is the home feed section for barstoolsports.com and the Barstool iOS app.

Feed Section

I Hope The Audio Version Of Dave's Book Includes The Outtakes Of Him Trying And Failing To Read His Own Words

Slot 4

Slot 10

The Apartment

Barstool Spring Break

Starting 9

Barstool Radio

The Bracket

The Short Porch

Stool Team 6

Lés Mascots

Snuffing Torches

Surviving Barstool

The Smokes Show

Team Portnoy

Barstool's Most Dangerous Gameshow

Undercover Bombs

Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 98 - My Three Categories Of Shirts

-People who get shot in movies always seem like they know exactly. what to do. They start performing some kind of mini surgery on themselves, when in reality, I think most people just sit there and scream because they just got fucking shot and that must really hurt.  -Someone should start a Mediterr

Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 97 - A Blockbuster Movie Idea

-Signs that say “use stairs in case of fire” don’t take into account the possibility of there being a fire on the stairs.  -Sometimes when I’m walking down the street with a friend or I’m on the phone, I like to talk in a British accent. Anyone I pass by will think “Oh that’s a British guy.” But I’m

Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 96 - Does Anyone Want Pictures Of My Feet?

-I find it interesting that ATMs make you take your card back before grabbing the cash. They must find that people are more likely to forget the card than to forget the cash. I’ve thought a lot about it, and I think that’s probably the right decision.  -I’m someone who won’t hesitate to take back an

Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 95 - Limited Edition Thoughts

-People will go their whole lives chasing that high of when they walked into school one day with new light-up sneakers. They’ll never reach it.  -While it’s something I feel like I would typically hate, I actually am interested in people posting about their Spotify Wrapped. I think that Heaven shoul

Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 94 - Is Santa A Superspreader?

-Every day the Internet has a new “Can you solve this math equation?” problem, and it’s always just seeing if people know what PEMDAS is or not.   -This thought is for ADULTS ONLY: I feel like parents are going to have a hard time explaining to some smart children how Santa is capable of operating d

Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 93 - Xoxo

-I love when the local weather is nicer than the Cupertino weather. Always feels like a win over those bastards.  -I just learned that when people write “xoxo”, the “x” is a kiss and the “o” is a hug. That makes absolutely no sense. I always assumed the “x” is a hug because it’s like arms crossing. 

Featured

Cities

Sports

Barstool Brands

Sports

Cities

Trending

Tommy's Thursday Thoughts

Thank you for your time

Latest Videos

Get Daily Recaps, Every Weekday

Latest Articles

Advertisement

Featuring

Advertisement

Unfiltered. Unapologetic. In Your Inbox.