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Brent Burns And Joe Thornton Grace The ESPN Body Issue

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Beauty Status at 100 right here. Just a couple of bearded guys being bearded dudes. Hangin’ dong and saucin’ around in the driveway. A tradition as old as time.

We’ve all seen Jumbo Joe butt ass naked plenty of times before. Guy tries to show his dick to the world every time he does a post-game interview. Not a female hockey journalist in the world who hasn’t seen that hog in the locker room before. But I don’t think we’ve ever seen this much from Burnzie. To be perfectly honest, I guess I just thought he really was Chewbacca. Like that he’d be covered in hair from head to toe. Dude makes enough animal noises out on the ice to be an actual Sasquatch. Turns out he’s not as hairy as you’d think but covered in ink. Truly one of a kind. And to think a savage like that and a 13-year-old boy like Mitch Marner play hockey in the same league.

P.S. – Really want to know if the ESPN photographers told Burnzie and Jumbo they were coming over that day for the shoot. I’m assuming they could have showed at any any time on any day and the boys would still be playing naked puck out in the driveway. That’s what summer is all about.

@BarstoolJordie