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The Amish Can Fuck Off

amish-horse-buggy

CBC – Amish residents of a western Kentucky town are fighting back against an ordinance requiring large animals to wear collection bags to catch their droppings, arguing that the law unfairly singles out their community.

The Daily News of Bowling Green reports that many Amish in Auburn have refused to comply with the ordinance, citing concerns that attempts to put the bags on their horses might frighten the animals. Many cases have landed in court, and some defendants have been jailed for refusing to pay the fine for violating the ordinance.

First off, I feel totally fine with that headline since Amish people aren’t allowed to use the internet anyway so it’s not like they’ll ever see it and want to come kick my ass. Second off, I feel totally fine with that headline because I truly mean it. Fuck the Amish. Fuck them all to hell.

If you want to be a freak who waltzes around all day pretending like it’s still the 1800s then by all means, go right ahead. I’m not going to stop you from depriving yourself of some of human’s greatest achievements like toasted Pop-Tarts, Netflix, and internet porn. But again, that’s on you. The moment your bizarre little world starts to have an actual impact on mine, well then it’s time to put an end to it. Imagine the balls these Amish pricks must have to think that leaving your horses shit all over the road is totally acceptable behavior. People freak out if Jessica down the street lets her little yorkie drop a little puppy turd on somebody’s lawn without picking it up. But since you don’t believe in electricity and probably practice incest, you think you’re good to just leave giant horse craps all over the place? Get real, jabronis.

@BarstoolJordie