Florida Man Accepts Plea Deal For Life In Prison In Exchange For A Philly Cheesesteak
People.com -- A Florida man who is accused of murdering and dismembering a woman told a judge he would plead guilty to the charges if given a cheesesteak.
Robert Kessler, 74, appeared before Hillsborough Circuit Judge Nick Nazaretian on Monday, Oct. 26. Nazaretian told him he could enter an open plea and get “life in prison and be done with it,” and Kessler debated it for a few seconds, according to court video.
“I’ll do that for a Philly cheesesteak, and an order of fries and a Pepsi,” Kessler told the court.
Okay so before we even get started here, I just want to get out and say that Philadelphia does not claim this scumbag. If what he is accused of is true, then his "life in prison" can't come to an end soon enough.
With that being said...A great cheesesteak can be tough to come by if you don't live in the area. It's not exactly the hardest thing in the world to make, but it's shocking how easy it is to screw up. Most people overthink the cheesesteak. You need thinly sliced ribeye, seasoned well with some salt and pepper, fried onions, some evenly distributed and perfectly melty cheese, all thrown together on a (preferably homemade) roll that has some character to it. You don't want the cheesesteak roll to be too soft because then it all just becomes one texture. You don't want the cheesesteak roll to be too crunchy because then it's a chore to eat. But just enough crunch on the outside of the roll with a pillowy soft inside is perfect. Does it need to be seeded? No, but it definitely helps.
It's really not that complicated. The beauty of the cheesesteak is in the simplicity. But in order to nail a cheesesteak, you need to find a way to be perfect about being simple.
All of that is to say that this dude from Florida probably hasn't had a great Philly cheesesteak in quite some time. And considering how old he looks and how close he is to death anyway, "life in prison" for a cheesesteak seems like an insanely good deal. Way better than any deal he deserves in the first place. Hope he gets clumpy cheese whiz and mushy green peppers on his steak.