The Road to 0-17 Couldn't Have Started Any Better for The Miami Dolphins

Perry Knotts. Getty Images.

I'm not going to lie, this shit sucks. The Dolphins have been ass my entire life, but for the most part they were at least competitively ass. You know one of those teams who are always 9-8 or 8-9 and if a couple things just went your way you'd be a 10 to 11 win team. The type of team who you know can't win it all but are good enough to make you feel excited on Sunday morning.

That is not the case with this team. We fucking blow. I don't think the team played that bad, it's more so we just don't have the talent that you need to win. Then again, that's also probably a good thing, right? If you're going to tank, you might as well do it right. We have 13 rookies on a 53 man roster. Do you know how insane that is?? 25% OF OUR ROSTER IS ROOKIES!!!!

We're playing guys who would have got cut by 95% of the teams if the NFL. The reason why we have 13 rookies isn't because they're all super talented and we struck gold in the draft. No, no, no. It's because we paid CTE man $212M and now we're broke and couldn't afford to hire a burger flipper from McDonalds. 

Although I will say, not everything from Sunday's game was terrible. Second round pick Jacob Rodriguez balled the fuck out which was nice. I also got to watch a game where my QB can run without getting CTE and throwing up gang signs. So that was cool. Oh I almost forgot Caleb Douglas might be a fucking dog. So there definitely were some positives from yesterdays game.

But one thing is abundantly clear: this team fucking sucks. 

I pray that we for once commit to the tank instead of self sabotaging ourselves out of the #1 pick like we did in 2019 where we missed out on Joe Burrow and passed on Herbert for a 5'11 QB with a broken hip. Fuck that just triggered me, whatever, March for Arch or whoever the fuck has the talent from God to save this poverty franchise.