Fantasy Football Team Name Starter Kit
Andy Lyons. Getty Images.Fireworks are over, everyone. That means one thing. It is officially fantasy football pre-draft over analysis season!
Time to dive deeper into research than any class we've ever taken before. Simply for the right to own our friends in the group chat and maybe take home a few hundred bucks. And we all know how this goes. We can crush more sources than a PhD dissertation over a couple months span, execute the proper "process" draft plays, and still get absolutely smote by the fantasy gods. But here we gather anyway. We know no other way. Desperate souls scouring research in order to make sure there are no warning signs whatsoever on our crucial #1 overall pick:
And just as important as it is to pick the right player, it's just as important to educate yourself in research on who to fade:
Remember. You'll get differing views on specific players from different analysts out there, but you know you're safe when they all agree on a particular draft strategy…
I look forward to ripping off a slew of summer fantasy football draft prep blogs for you. After all - before joining Barstool I was doing just that for Scott Barrett over at Fantasy Points after creating fantasy wins above replacement. But unlike most analysts - my nihilism is in tune with the reality on how things play out in seasonal leagues. Is this because I kept Christian McCaffrey in my home keeper league last year? Yes. Of course it is.
Still - I hope to bring you some fantasy draft advice through a series of blogs this summer. But before we talk about any smart strategies that won't work, we have to start this summer series at the beginning.
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We need a team name.
Now I did hit up ChatGPT real quick just to see if it had any game at this and let me tell you - it does not.
Looks like we're on our own. Chat really hitting us there with some contemporary late-80s early 90s references.
Anyway, here we go. I came up with all of these myself by running code to get every NFL player's name to see what we have to work with. Some of these are bad. Some are less bad. And a lot are probably more bad. But hopefully they aren't ChatGPT bad. Let's get to it.
Yahya Ja'Marr Shemar…
Can't draft Ja'Marr Chase with this one since the whole idea is "We get it, Ja'Marr Chase is good, you can shut up now". But in case you're not familiar, Yahya Black is a rookie defensive tackle so IDP leagues should pick him up if you want this one to avoid stolen name valor. Also, kind of weird we had two players named "Shemar" drafted just this season.
For the record - that's 50% of all Shemar's to play in the NFL. Shemar Jean-Charles and Shemar Bartholomew are the others.
Najee's Harris on Fire from Greg Roman's Candle
The most Chargers story possible dropped right as I was thinking of names that Najee Harris injured his face from fireworks. And while I saw some good eye puns out there, I think this one is indeed authentically mine. Fair to say Chargers OC Greg Roman is an Omarion Hampton guy. Everyone make note.
But not everyone is a Hampton guy.
LeQuint Allen
No name combo needed for this one. Just a dude's straight up name. LeQuint Allen is a 7th round rookie running back for the Jaguars. I'm not looking this up, but I'll go ahead and say he was a hospitality major before giving up that dream for a more modest job as a Jacksonville Jaguar.
Montgomery Ward
Really missed on this one didn't you, ChatGPT?
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Shakir Boutte to the Skyy
Shakir is an underrated fantasy team name piece. So is Boutte. Might have to reuse these.
Worthy Wright Ingold
I don't know if Xavier Worthy will be worth his weight in gold since he's so slim, but perhaps this is a sign of a breakout year for second-year Dolphin running back Jaylen Wright. Or hell - maybe his teammate - Alex Ingold. I'm taking this as a sign to pick Ingold over Juszczyk in my fullback premium league.
Bigsby Boutte Howell Bell
Yeah - I had to dig deep and include David Bell to make this one work. If it even does. Since Belichick got conservatorshipped, we are fresh out of NFL "Bills" so had to go with Bell. Anyway, real ball knowers know David Bell is pretty relevant as he led the league in completion percentage per target (3/3). FYI if you still don't get it, know that team Braelon Musgrave would not approve of this team name.
Luther Van Ross
Nothing special here. Just a single down the line. And this is one of those names I wouldn't be surprised if someone else came up with first. Either way, another miss for ChatGPT.
Penix Dart Manhertz
Penix Dart Manhertz is my signal to end this blog here. But one could only imagine that team name tells no lies.
If nothing else - this should get your juices flowing for some ideas of your own. I'll be back in the stats lab cooking up some more blogs soon. Lot's to cover including a refresh on what fantasy football wins above replacement is, how to use it for your draft, why Josh Allen continues to be undervalued, and "talk me into it" where we'll touch a select group of players who seem like surefire horse manure (Cooper Kupp, Anthony Richardson, Justin Fields, etc.).
Class dismissed. See you all next week.