Wedding Season Is Upon Us And Don't Take Advice From Nicky Smokes On How To Dress

Alright folks, it feels like I am taking shots from every angle right now in these streets. I have the raccoon boy running his mouth still as though my wife left me for him, people saying they hate me, and now Nicky Smokes throwing shots all because I'd like to see our society maintain the slightest bit of decorum. I did't anticipate the one today from Nicky.

For what it's worth, I like Nicky and I think his opinion is based on his age and the fallout from COVID to be honest. We are broken right now as a society when it comes to how people dress. I talked about this recently when it comes to t-shirts in nice restaurants. 

You have an easier time making the arguments about restaurants but wearing a tie or suit to a wedding isn't about you, Nicky. It's about the couple. 

Here’s my take: If you’re not in the wedding party, I don’t think you need to wear a tie. There’s just no point. I’m not saying everyone should ditch the tie, I’m simply saying it’s not necessary unless you’re part of the wedding party.

Let’s be real, once you make it past the ceremony and into the reception, where the drinks start flowing during the cocktail hour or whatever the fuck it’s called no one cares whether you’re wearing a tie. And once the real party begins, half the wedding party takes their ties off anyway. At least, the people who like to dance and have a good time do. So why wear one at all if you’re just going to spend the night tugging at it or trying not to lose it?

I say fuck it, show up with no tie. If you’ve got a nice chain, throw that on and call it a day. Whenever someone asks me if I’m wearing a tie to a wedding, I tell them, “Yeah—an Italian tie.” They always ask, “What’s an Italian tie?” And I say, “Chest hair out, gold chain on.” Works every time.

Nicky is 25 and has been to two weddings in his life. Not exactly a good base from which to form opinions. In addition, Nicky is coming out of the COVID era when everyone seemed to want to abandon dressing for the occasion for anything. I am 40, have officiated 6 weddings (all 6 couples still married - perfect record), and have been to countless weddings in my day. 

I'm not suggesting every wedding should be a black tie affair (even though I do find it fun to toss on my tux from time to time) but you should want to look your best for the couple. They have spent a ton of money on this day so how do you think they feel if people show up looking like it's already the end of the night? 

I agree that once the reception gets cooking and the dance floor is raging, that ties can come off for the night. But at the start, at least put your best foot forward for your friends or in Large's case, your most interesting foot.

I promise you, the Italian tie is not your best foot. Also not for nothing Nicky, at your age when the majority of the guests are single still, you should want to come looking your absolute best. The new hair is coming in, you're in good shape, so you should want to go the opposite direction of looking like a grease ball. Go out and get yourself a new bespoke suit. Be the best dressed guest. You catch more bees with honey. Go nuts on the dance floor, sure, but at the end of the night make sure you re-tie your tie so you look like a million bucks walking into the after party. 

There is an overwhelming urge right now to steer away from traditions and buck the trends. I say we lean back into those traditions. Honestly, ask yourself the question, "Do I feel best about myself when I'm in a t-shirt or when I am in a very sharp suit?"  There is a correct answer and don't lie to yourself. Look sharp, play sharp.