In Honor Of Rico Bosco's Cross Country Bus Trip - The Definitive List Of Times When A Bus Was Awesome
(Given the colorful individuals that opt for the Greyhound over other modes of transportation, this should prove to be an interesting journey once again.)
By now I think everyone is aware of the predicament that my friend Arby found himself in for the second time - a cross country bus trip to the Final Four. This time it was due to "his" Alabama Crimson Tide not making it to the final weekend of the tourney. (We are still trying to determine if he meets the criteria for college fandom that can be found here).
Contrary to what he thinks, I was not rooting for Arby to lose. I know what a diehard college hoops fan he is and how much he wanted to go to the coach's prom in hopes of collecting phone numbers of West Virginia's video coordinator and Georgetown's head student manager. My tie to Duke is obviously my close dear personal friend and fellow member of the Long Gray Line, Coach K, so yes I like to see Duke do well but I don't lose sleep if they get bounced. Also of note, their two best point guards of all time, Hurley and Williams, being from Jersey also influences my rooting interests (Williams and I are from the same hometown).
But Arby's journey got me thinking, has a bus ever had it's time to shine? The answer is yes. Here is the list of the times a bus was awesome:
Magic School Bus
Ms. Frizzle was out of her God damn mind but damned if she didn't take those kids on some awesome adventures. Whether she was traveling through time like Doc Brown or up inside Ralphie looking for germs, she had one speed - go. As you get older you realize that the Frizz was likely hungover or on drugs to suggest these sorts of trips but nevertheless she taught us a whole bunch of useful information.
The Bus in Middle School
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Everyone either had or knew about someone whose bus driver was a little bit weird or smelled funny. For me, our driver stunk and I know now it was because of what he was doing basically the entire time he wasn't driving the bus. More importantly than the driver though were the lessons learned on the bus. Forget school, your formidable education took place on the bus. Somehow the bus was how we all learned about Marilyn Manson and Richard Gere. The birds and the bees. The gossip. Who liked whom more than a friend. Whose parents let them watch R Rated movies. But we also learned about how life works - it was no accident that the coolest kid always sat in the back right seat. That manifests itself in life as well. It's no coincidence that the cool, smart kids do well in life and get the best seat.
Speed
This movie solidified Keanu as an action star, made Sandra one of America's sweethearts, and had us all believe that a bus doing 55 could jump a football field despite not having the physics to back it up. It speaks volumes about this movie that 80% of the movie took place on a bus but had us on the edge of our seats (grins adjusts mic). By the by, if you had to liken Arby to anyone on this bus it would probably be Alan Ruck aka Cameron aka Connor. Conheads stand up!
High School Sports Bus Rides
For most, high school sports are the pinnacle of their sports career. One of the core memories are the bus rides to and from games. They are always the same on the way to the game. Silent. Everyone thinking about the game. Focused. Some guys are sleeping. Some guys are dipping. But everyone is getting locked in for the 60 minutes under the lights. The ride home? That can be miserable or it can be pure jubilation with your boys. Planning the party. Figuring out whose parents are away for the weekend. Nothing better. We all remember them both but wouldn't trade it for anything. It's also never the same after high school. Once you get to college most of the bus rides you're taking are to get on the chartered plane to travel to your game. It's just not the same.
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Almost Famous
There has never been a better rendition of Tiny Dancer and I've seen Elton at MSG. They never should've abandoned that bus for the plane. I have to imagine the best stories from the heyday of rock n roll came from tour buses.
Billy Madison
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We all know the lines. We all know the scenes. We all know that's assault brotha. We've all joked that we will turn the damn bus around and end your precious little field trip. Although I don't think we've all eaten 30 bagged lunches but there is also Tate After Dark.
Road Trip
At some point we've all thought it would be cool to do a road trip on a short bus. Really spread out and enjoy ourselves. Then you quickly remember that those seats are not comfortable at all and you realize this would be a horrible way to travel. However, they made it look cool.
Party Bus
I don't care what the occasion is - birthday, bachelor party, bar crawl, wedding transportation. It does not matter. You hear the words "party bus" and you know it's going to be a good time. You could be best friends with everyone or only know the one guy you met while checking in at the hotel, we are all getting off that bus as family who's seen some things. Someone inevitably gets left behind. Someone always passes out. The names change but the party stays the same. Party busses are what our forefathers had in mind when we got the heck out of England.
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Warm Up The Buses Chant
This is an all time burn. The game is in hand and you can tell the opposing team, "Thanks for coming out, might as well warm up the buses." It's simply yet impactful.
There ya have it. Safe travels for my guy, Arby. Now buy a shirt!