Getting Fired From Your Falconry Job For Firing Off A Few Pics Of Your Brand New Penis Implant Is A Pretty Punk Rock Way To Go Out
Massimo Insabato. Shutterstock Images.Associated Press -- Lazio has fired the man who handled the Italian soccer club’s eagle mascot after he posted photos and videos online of his own prosthetic penis.
Falconer Juan Bernabé shared the images on his private social media accounts after undergoing surgery for a penile implant, which he said was for non-medical reasons. Bernabé also gave an interview to controversial Italian radio show La Zanzara on Monday and elaborated on his reasons for undergoing the procedure.
Bernabé added that he felt “very proud” and “more masculine” being part of Lazio. The Serie A club clearly did not feel the same as it fired the Spaniard shortly afterward.
I mean talk about guerrilla marketing. When dudes when a dick implant, it's pretty difficult to get that word out to the masses. When chicks get breast implants, it's noticeable right away. Nobody misses those things. But for a dude with a new prosthetic penis? Well you can't just go walking around town with some low cut pants to show off your new piece.
So our guy here needed to make a business decision. Either waste his money on a new dick which nobody ever actually knows about. Or fire out a few pics on social media of his new hammer at the risk of losing his job.
Now it's not like buddy is an accountant or some boring shit like that. He's a professional falconer. One of the raddest professions to have. Dude controls a bird of prey for a living. And if I know falconry like I think I know falconry, there's always a need for that profession. I mean it's recession proof. Everywhere you go, there are people looking to hire professional falconers. So if Juan boy got fired on a Tuesday, you can be damn sure he was hired again by someone else on a Wednesday.
Now he gets to go around on first dates talking about how he got fired from his job as a falconer because of his new, massive hog. He's going to have bitches crawling all over him. What kind of a woman doesn't love a falconer? And not just any old falconer, but one with a giant prosthetic penis to boot. They don't care if it's fake or not. You see the toys they come out with these days for the ladies? At some point, the only way that guys are going to be able to compete is if they get themselves hooked up with a fake hog. This fella is just ahead of the curve.
Sidenote: Pics of the penis implant can be seen here.