Man Sits Down on Toilet, 12-Foot Python Latches Onto His Nuts, Blood Everywhere, It Could Happen To You
NY Post - A Thai man was bitten on the testicles by a 12-foot python while he sat on the toilet — so he beat the serpent to death with a toilet brush, leaving his bathroom splattered in blood, according to reports and stunning photos.
Thanat Thangtewanon felt a sharp pain after he took a seat Tuesday, so he reached down and grabbed the snake by the neck and tried to rip it off his privates, according to Asia Pacific Press.
“I felt something biting my balls. It was very painful, so I put my hands in the toilet to see what was wrong. I was shocked that I grabbed a snake,” he said.
“I quickly stood up and plucked it out. I felt pain, really bad pain, and there was blood everywhere, but I was more shocked to have found a python in the toilet,” Thangtewanon said.
“I quickly stood up and plucked it out. I felt pain, really bad pain, and there was blood everywhere, but I was more shocked to have found a python in the toilet,” Thangtewanon said.
It's scary to think about how this could happen to any of us at any time. It could happen in the comfort of our own homes. We all feel so comfortable when sitting on the toilet. People will sit there for 10-15 minutes at a time, scrolling their phones without a care in the world, despite the fact that at any moment a viscous 12-foot python who took a wrong turn down in the sewers could come shooting up from beneath and latch onto your testicles with all its might.
The crazy part is this happens in America all the time as well. It's almost a daily occurrence in some states. According to a survey conducted last year by Sacramento State University, in 2022, 289 people in California alone reported being bitten by a snake that emerged from their toilet while they were using it. Which was up from the 211 people reported the last time they checked the numbers back in 2017. It truly happens all the time.
Nah, I'm just kidding. That doesn't happen in America. Not at a high enough clip to be worried about. I guess maybe if you're using a port-a-potty out in the desert you should do a hover. Or if you're in Florida. I actually found a couple instances of rattlesnakes being found in Texas toilets. But it's really nothing to worry about here in the states. And honestly, if you're lucky enough to have it happen to you in public you can probably sue someone for it. Even if it's nobody's fault, it should be added to the constitution somewhere that if you get bit in the nuts by a snake while taking a shit you're entitled to compensation.
In Thailand however, it sounds like you have about a 1-10 chance of being neutered by a python every time you use the restroom.
In May 2016, a 10-foot python sunk its teeth into Attaporn Boonmakchuay’s penis while he was relieving himself in the Chachoengsao province, according to the BBC.
He wrestled off the scaly sucker — which had been hiding in his home plumbing system — and then was briefly hospitalized.
In January 2020, a snake chomped down on a Thai mother’s thigh as she sat on the pot, causing her to pummel it with a hammer, according to her daughter.
Ten months later, a 7-foot python bit Boonsong Plaikaew’s buttocks while she was on the toilet in the Samut Prakan province.
Suwi Paramas, who is also from the Samut Prakan province, was washing her hands when she spotted a 12-foot python in her toilet in March 2023, according to newsflare.com.
I've heard Thailand is beautiful. I've heard they got some awesome drugs. I would love to experience one of their Full Moon parties some day.
Unfortunately, I'm just not sure it's worth the risk. Snake toilets are a dealbreaker for me. That, plus Thailand is where everyone goes to have degenerate sex. They attract 1.2 million sex tourists annually (real statistic). So when you tell someone you're going to Thailand to "experience the beautiful beaches", in the back of their mind they'll always think, "This dude is gonna fuck some weird hookers isn't he?"
Then when you get home from Thailand with a bloody dick and a missing testicle from one of the toilet snakes, and you try to explain the story to your friends, they're gonna be like, "Jesus dude… what did you do to piss him/her off? You couldn't cough up the $2.50 hooker fee?"
And no matter how much you insist it was a toilet snake, everyone is going to think you got too fucked up one night in Thailand had some crazy hooker try to bite your dick off. That, or you caught the most viscous Southeast Asian STD of all-time.
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Too much that can go wrong over in Thailand. No thank you.