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It's Time For Philly Fans To Cut The Bullshit And Get Back To Our Roots Of Being Assholes

Jesse D. Garrabrant. Getty Images.

Trying something new is always fun and exciting. It makes you feel fresh and rejuvenated. But if you're anything like myself, then you deal with a heavy case of hyperfixation. The moment you find a new hobby, it completely overtakes your life. It's all you can think about, it's all you want to do. Whatever you were into last week seems like a lifetime ago. 

Philly fans are currently dealing with this dilemma when it comes to giving struggling players/teams a standing ovation in hopes of turning their bum asses around. 

We are loud, we are angry, we an impatient, and we want results. I wouldn't go as far as to say that we're gigantic assholes or anything like that. Just regular, ordinary assholes who have a point. I think the frustration that comes with being a Philly fan is reasonably justified for the most part. And if Phillies fans were to unleash their fury upon Trea Turner this past summer after he was making $300 million to be a bum, then Phillies fans would be in their right to do that. But instead, they took a different approach. One much softer and supportive. And it worked! Phillies fans took a struggling Trea Turner and got him back into form with a little tender love and support. Something that is a polar opposite of what Philly fans are typically known for. 

It was a new approach. It was exciting. Perhaps this was the change we were all desperately waiting for. Perhaps this was the time to turn the narrative around Philly fans. We were just misunderstood before, but here was an opportunity to put all that behind us. 

That needed to be a one time thing. A quick change up to get everyone on their heels. But when it comes to Tobias Harris? We need to bring back the ol' trusty fastball with that one. Just some good old fashioned public shaming and berating until we get the results we want to see. 

Just because the standing ovation worked once for Trea Turner doesn't make it a cure all solution. We can't run the risk of losing our edge as a fanbase by coddling every struggling athlete in this city. This city is often filled with underachievers. We'd have to have 365 standing ovations per year if we were going to give them all the same treatment. 

It worked for Trea Turner because it was close enough to being organic. If you start to force it on everyone else, it'll come off as cheap and make us all look like a bunch of twats. I'm sorry but Tobias Harris just isn't worth running that risk. Tobias Harris isn't a hill I'm willing to let Philly fans die on. We need to get back to our roots here. We need to sharpen that edge again. 

P.S. -- No standing ovations at Phillies games until those cowards bring back Dollar Dog Night. 

@JordieBarstool