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There's Nothing More American Than Receiving A Little Backdoor Cavity Search From Your Old Lady During The National Anthem At A Pro Sporting Event

This little country we know as United States America was once just 13 original British colonies. But one day we woke up and said "nah, dawg. We ain't playing that shit no more. We're not nobody's bitch, and we're about to start doing things our own way from now on". We had enough of the taxes. We had enough of the tea. We believed that all men were created equal, and are endowed with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit to get your balloon knot finger blasted by your tinder date during the anthem at a Devils game. We've been the greatest, most powerful nation in the world ever since. 

That's the type of passion that King George and the red coats were up against in 1776. No shit they got dummied in the American Revolution. They were too afraid to get down and dirty in the greasy areas. But this chick for sure is not. This is just game 38 out of 82 for her. Not even a playoff game, not even a big divisional rival game. Just a standard regular season hockey game that calls for some light fingering of the booty hole while the Star Spangled Banner gets belted out in the background. If that's not patriotism, then I don't know what is. 

Sidenote: Can't imagine the upper bowl at the Prudential Center ever smells that great to begin with. So I wouldn't worry about that. 

@JordieBarstool