Honor Among Thieves: Stealing Things When They're On Sale Should Absolutely Have A Lesser Punishment
Fertnig. Getty Images.CBS -- A pair of thieves argued that they should receive lighter sentences because the items they stole from a Kohl's store were on sale.
The district attorney's office for Colorado's Judicial District 18, which include Arapahoe, Douglas, Elbert and Lincoln counties, said in a Tuesday statement that the men's defense attorneys told a jury that their clients should face lesser charges because some of the items they stole were discounted.
…The DA's office said the documented value of the stolen items was about $2,095. Under Colorado law, theft between $2,000 to $5,000 is a Class A felony, while theft under $2,000 is a misdemeanor — the charge that Green and Bolden's attorneys argued for, citing that the items they took were on sale.
Before we get started here, I just want it on the record that I don't condone thievery of any kind. Maybe it's just because I'm a scared little bitch, or maybe I was just raised right, but I'm not able to bring myself to steal anything. Maybe I'll take an extra handful of tees from the driving range if I find myself at a nice golf course, but that's about it. I couldn't even steal a pack of gum from a Target checkout line if you asked me to.
With that being said, I also love a good argument. There are plenty of people out there who steal, get caught, and then are just too damn stupid to get themselves out of it. Truth be told, I don't think society would miss those people too much if they had to spend some time in jail. But someone going out on a shoplifting spree and only swiping items that are on sale because you should only get 60% of the punishment if the item was 40% off? Well that's a criminal mastermind I can come to appreciate.
It makes sense. Value is only how much someone is willing to pay for an item. Clearly the original value of the items were too high, nobody wanted them, and the store had to put that shit on sale just to unload it. You can't go back and claim the original value once someone swipes it. It's not like they stole $499 from the store, because nobody was going to pay the $499 in the first place. But did they take away the store's potential to make a quick $350? Maybe. So that's how they should get charged. Because if you start punishing people based on the original price of things, what's stopping stores from saying that every item is a million dollars but it was just on sale that day for $19.99? And maybe that's a good way for stores to start fighting back against stop lifting. But for now, I think these fellas found a loophole in the law.