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The Arizona Coyotes Are A Bunch Of Shit Kickers, Currently Bullying Any Team In The League That Has Won A Stanley Cup Recently

Zac BonDurant. Getty Images.

It's been 10 years since the Arizona Coyotes have been to the playoffs if we're not counting the 2020 COVID bubble. Technically speaking, the Arizona Coyotes have never actually been to the playoffs considering the last time they won a series in 2012, they were the Phoenix Coyotes. Since then they have changed names, changed arenas, have filed for bankruptcy god knows how many times, changed divisions. I'll be honest, I didn't even realize they are in the Central Division now but turns out that's the case. 

But if the NHL season ended today, they'd be in the playoffs with the 4th best record in the Central and the #1 wild card in the Western Conference. All thanks to this 5-game win streak they're currently riding. And it's not just any 5-game win streak. It's the most historic 5-game win streak in league history. 

5 straight wins against the most recent 5 organizations to win a Stanley Cup. 

First of all, that's an insane coincidence in their schedule. I'm sure there's some stat nerd out there who can figure this out, but how many teams do you think have even had a stretch of 5 consecutive games against the most recent 5 Cup winners before? Can't be many. But it doesn't matter how many have had the chance before, the 'Yotes are the only ones to ever beat all 5 of them. 

Naturally the Flyers have to come around and fuck it up on Thursday night as they travel to Arizona. So the Coyotes would have to go back and beat every Cup winning team to 1975 to keep that streak alive. But either way, you have to be worried if you're a team like the Bruins or Penguins who have the 'Yotes coming up on your schedule soon. If you've won a Cup at any point in the last 15 years, the Coyotes are coming for that ass and they're going to shove your shit in.

I have to admit this has me wishing the NHL had just a little more in common with the NBA right now as far as orchestrating drama goes. Just think about if Auston Matthews didn't sign that contract extension with Toronto over the summer. Imagine if he decided to go into the final year of his contract without a new deal in place, and all of a sudden you had the Arizona Coyotes finally turning things around. You'd have a young Coyotes team looking like they're going to be a problem for years to come, led by a couple of America stallions in Clayton Keller and Logan Cooley, and you'd have Auston Matthews hitting unrestricted free agency in the summer. It would be the perfect storm. 

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They have over $10M coming off the books next season. The salary cap is going to go up. And they have 20 combined picks in the first 3 rounds over the next 3 drafts. All I'm saying is that the dream of Papi in the desert isn't completely dead yet. 

@JordieBarstool