The Saddest NFL Stats Of Week 10 You Didn't Know
Sean M. Haffey. Getty Images.The 2023 NFL season has been an embarrassment of riches for the sad stat industry. Usually there is one or two laughing stock teams that get all the jokes thrown their way. If not the Lions, the Browns. But dear mercy this is getting a little out of hand. The best part of kbitzing on shitty teams is doing so from the funny clips instead of having to watch them take over the stand alones. Especially in prime time. Bears. Panthers. Patriots. I'm dead inside and we haven't yet tacked on the Jets, Raiders and Broncos.
What happened here? Did the Giants forget to RSVP this week? They still got an afternoon slot to clog up 30% of Red Zone action. This HAS to be an experiment by the NFL. What lengths will we all go to watch bad football?
We are doomed. The NFL can experiment on us all they want with nonmalfeasance standards of WWII Germany. While playing IN Germany. There's just no stopping this madness. Or the sadness. May as well lean into it.
Here are your NFL sad stats for Week 10.
Sad Stat #1: Speaking of that Thursday Night game, the three combined wins coming in ties for the least combined wins in a Week 10 prime time game
Chronological order from top to bottom are the last - idk - shit ton of prime time games since 1970 up to last Thursday Night with the bars representing combined team win totals heading into the matchup:
I made this graph before Sunday, but just to give three total wins some perspective, the Jets and Raiders came into Sunday Night with a total of eight.
Weird enough, this was actually a legacy win for Bears RM, Ryan Poles. I'm not even being sarcastic. His biggest win as a GM just came against the worst team in the league, the 1-7 Panthers. The shittiest team in the league full of astronomically shitty teams. But that's exactly why. Snatching D.J. Moore from them and leaving a barren wasteland of talent for Young to develop around was what made trading the overall #1 draft pick such a slick move. And add the fact that Caleb Williams is worlds away from Young in terms of overall #1 draft pick talent. For as much as a shit show as the Bears have been due to other decisions Poles has made - this has the potential to go down as the best trade in NFL history.
Don't worry though. It's the Bears. We'll fuck it up somehow.
Sad Stat #2: The Jets/Raiders ruined my fun of doing a football sicco "Only FGs" bit when Michael Mayer scored a touchdown
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Whatever, I'm still gonna run with the bit.
I'm not even going to hide the football perversion I engaged in the Sunday night all alone in a dark room. But there I was minding my own business - just me with my candle - logged into my Only FGs channel for Sunday Night Football. Everything was going great. At 9-9, the anticipation of potentially watching the highest scoring game in NFL history in which only field goals were scored seemed to be my wildest dream soon come true. T'was just last year when the Broncos / Colts sad off of the ages tied that record of 21 points with a 12-9 OT coma inducer.
But it wasn't to be. Usually when I watch Michael Mayer/Mysers on TV I have the lights out to set the mood, but his touchdown wasn't exactly the type of thrill I was looking for on this particular evening.
P.S. Icing on the cake of this bit would have been this game being on Amazon so I could work in the paid subscription angle. What could have been…
Sad Stat #3: The Giants have the 6th worst head-to-head two-games in a seson point differential in NFL history (-72)
Sorry Falcons fans but y'all victims of a cameo sad stat this week.
Count me as shocked to all hell the Giants didn't make #1 on this particular niche stat. You may recall the 40-0 drubbing at home the Giants took vs Cowboys in Week 1. But let's pay some respect to the St. Louis Cardinals of 1981 losing 52-10 to the Eagles in Week 10 and getting shutout by them 38-0 in Week 16 for a differential of -80. The Giants did get close though, sitting at -79 with a just a few minutes left. But it wasn't meant to be and the Cardinals' banner of sadness flies above the Giants and the four other teams in-between: the Bills, the Falcons, the Falcons, and Falcons.
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Sad Stat #4: The Jaguars held strong vs the 49ers in the saddest goal line stand in NFL history
Funny things happen when you record chase. Like going for it on 4th and goal with three minutes left up 31. I don't think I need to be the one to tell you that's never happened before but I made an effort to find something comparable. In the spirit of sad statistics, I looked for the existing saddest late-game goal line stand 43th down stops on record. Here are the most notables I pulled:
(2019 Titans trailing Jaguars 20-7) The Titans stopped the Gardner Minshew led Jags on 4th and goal from the 4 with 3:28 left. Not sure why the Jags wouldn't go for the field goal there to make it a three-score lead but OK I guess.
(2016 Browns trailing Bills 33-13) Jonathan Williams was stuffed onf 4th and goal at the 1 with 2:11 left in the largest differential (20) of a sad goal line stuff I found overall.
(2009 Browns trailing Bears 23-6) Jay Cutler missed Desmond Clark on 4th and goal from the 1 with 4:56 left. I'm assuming there had to be some Desmond Clark franchise record thing going on here because there's no way the Bears knew anything about analytics.
(2007 Browns trailing Patriots 27-17) Browns sure seem to defend their end zone when it doesn't matter the most as they appear once again by stopping Tom Brady with :57 left.
Sad Stat #5: Alec Pierce has the same Fitbit step count AND total touchdown catches as anyone reading this who just ran 7 miles
That's about 6.6 miles in the graphic above so he easily crossed the 7-mile mark on Sunday. Adding insult to injury, Colts came into Week 10 with the 5th most points in the league, so it's not like this is the Jets we're talking about here. Or the Giants. Or the Patriots. Or the Raiders. Or… (fucking hell, I actually could keep going couldn't I?)
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Alec really is just out there for his health. But not his mental health. He trails only teammate Michael Pittman Jr. in total snaps for a wide receiver this season and has yet to score. Darious Slayton is the only other name to fail to score as shown below, but that's understandable since he's depending on a Goodfellas character to get him there.
Sad Stat #5: The Chargers are where they always have been and will always end up being .500
Every team wants to establish an identity. You hear coaches talk about this all the time. The Chargers just do this better than any other team. I wrote a sad stat stand alone blog this past September explaining how the Chargers are destined to be in .500 purgatory for eternity.
Let's get a quick idently update on how they've managed since:
Yep. Everything is still perfectly Chargers.
Week 10 in the books! Love getting everyones tips on Twitter for potential angles to explore. Remember - don't let injustices by without taking action. See something, say something.
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- Jeffro
Got a sad stat tip? DM me @statholesports
Catch up on last Weeks NFL Sad Stats Week 9: