ALL THE PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES DO IS MASH HOME RUNS
Mary DeCicco. Getty Images.Merrill Kelly. Merrrrrriiiiilllll! Merrrrriiiillllll! Merrriiillll!
You dumb sack of shit, you. You absolute waste of space, you. How idiotic could you possibly be? This dumbass goes out of his way to poke the bear. Mentions how a fucking throwaway game against Venezuela in some made up tournament could produce a more hostile environment than Red October at The Bank. Trea Turner immediately comes back and says, and I'm paraphrasing here, "we'll see about that, bitch".
One guy just spews nonsense out of his mouth because he's too damn dumb to even know what he's saying. The other guy talks with his chest and then IMMEDIATELY backs it up with his first at-bat of the night.
Another first inning home run for this Phillies team who always gives the fans at The Bank a reason to party early. That's why you show up to your seat multiple hours before the first pitch. Because by the time the 5th pitch of the night is thrown the Phillies' way, there's already going to be a 1 up on the board.
All this Phillies team does is mash home runs. They're quite literally addicted to ringing the bell. And nobody shows up to mash harder in the LCS than Kyle Schwarber. This sick bastard went off in the LCS and World Series last year, and it looks like he's doing the exact same thing this year. He had one of those things last night, and then tonight he had not 1…
But 2 homers off of Merrill Kelly's stupid fat face tonight in game 2.
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Are you kidding me? Again, it's an addiction. This team loves to mash. They love to party. I just hope it's loud enough out there for Merrill Kelly. Sure would hate for him to leave CBP disappointed.