Winning Baseball Games Is Strictly An Excuse For The Phillies To Party Their Dicks Off
Plenty of kids grow up dreaming about one day winning the World Series. They work their entire lives to get to a position to turn that dream into reality. They train to one day get drafted to a Major League team. They work their way up through the system. They finally make a roster and grind through a 162-game season. Finally, they make the postseason and they're just 13 wins away from winning a World Series.
The Philadelphia Phillies don't care. They're just here to party. If winning a World Series means that they get to party harder and party longer, then so be it. But the end goal here is to delete as many ice cold celebratory locker room beers as humanly possible. The end goal is to be completely drenched in champagne 4-5 times per year.
That's the dream right there. And again, winning a World Series is a part of it. You get to chug beers and take champagne showers after clinching a playoff berth, clinching the wild card, winning the division series, winning the league championship, and finally the biggest daddy dick party of them all comes after winning a World Series. But let's not get it twisted--the Phillies want to win a World Series strictly for the party afterwards. That's what fuels this team. That's what motivates guys like Bryson Stott to step up there and rope the 2nd playoff grand slam in Phillies history.
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When the beers are shivering cold and the champagne bottles are left unpopped, this Phillies team is as dangerous as it gets. I wouldn't want to have to go up against them in a thousand years.
I just feel bad that Josh Bell doesn't get to join in on the celebration tonight like he planned on doing.
But at least Jazz Chisholm Jr. will have off on Thursday like he planned from the get go.
On to the next one. 11 more wins.