NFL Week 3 Power Rankings: The Miami Dolphins Are The New Kings of The NFL

10. Detroit Lions

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After losing their home opener to the Seattle Seahawks the Detroit Lions opened up a can of whoop ass on the Atlanta Falcons. Usually it's the Lions offense that steals the show, but Sunday belonged to the defense. The Lions sacked Ridder 7 times in one game! That's fucking insane. If the Lions defense keeps firing off the ball like they did against Atlanta, watch out!

9. Green Bay Packers

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I've said it before and I'll say it again. The Green Bay Packers are the best team in the NFC North. I hope you tailed my pick when I gave them out at +350 to win the division. It would be wrong for me to give the Packers all the credit for their win over the Saints. None of this would have been possible without the help of Big Cat. The Packers were down 17-0 when Big Cat took the initiative to take shots at Jordan Love on Twitter. 

After Big Cat's tweet, the Packers went on to score 18 unanswered points in the 4Q to pull out an 18-17 win over the Saints.

8. Baltimore Ravens

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The Ravens went out of their way to lose on Sunday. I can count at least 3 different times that they could have won that game. I'm not selling my Ravens stock, if anything I'm buying more of it. This team isn't even close to 100% and they were a Justin Tucker kick away from being 3-0. Ravens fans have to just take this one on the chin, and get ready for the Browns.

7. Dallas Cowboys

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WHAT ELSE IS NEW??? The Cowboys start hot, build their fake Super Bowl hype and get embarrassed. I still think Dallas has an elite defense but their offense is handicapped. Dak Prescott is shit, he is literally Jimmy G. I hope Cowboy fans enjoyed the fake Super Bowl hype for the first two weeks of the season because that shit is over. If Dallas had a real QB they'd be right up there with the best of them, but this team ain't sniffing a Super Bowl with Dak at QB.

6. Cleveland Browns

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It looks like Watson finally got his rub and tug! Watson finally looked like a QB who's worth $230M guaranteed. 289 yards and 2 TD's ain't shit compared to QB's like Tua Tagovailoa but for Watson that's a huge step in the right direction. Also, shoutout Amari Cooper, this guy could have Steven Cheah throwing him the ball and he'd still go for 10 catches and 125 yards. This Browns team is sleepy good, wouldn't surprise me if they win the division.

5. Buffalo Bills

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Are the Bills back? After getting embarrassed by the Jets in Week 1, the Buffalo Bills have been beating the living shit out of everyone they've played. Granted, they did beat up on the Raiders and Commanders, but an ass whooping is an ass whooping. I can't fucking wait to be in Orchard Park on Sunday. The Bills run of the beast in the east dies this Sunday against the Dolphins.

4. Kansas City Chiefs

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I don't even know what to say. Travis Kelce is banging T-Swift this team can't lose. 

3. Philadelphia Eagles

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Two words: Deandre Swift. If you haven't been watching, allow me to explain; Deandre Swift is back. Swift has had back to back games with over 100 yards rushing. If the Eagles didn't run the biggest scam in the USA on the 1 yard line every time, Swift would at least 4 more TD's. This team is fucking good. The oline looks as good as ever and the defense is stout. There's only two teams who have a chance at representing the NFC in the Super Bowl; the Birds and the 49ers.

2. San Francisco 49ers

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Another week, another dominant performance. The 49ers deep the living fuck out of the Giants. I knew Daniel Jones didn't have a chance the second I saw his stupid little face during the pregame warm ups. I don't blame Daniel, I'd be shitting down my leg if I had to play this team too. The 49ers have scored 30 points in three straight games while their defense is only allowing 14PPG they are a certified jug.

1. Miami Dolphins

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MIAMI HAS THE DOLPHINS THE GREATEST FOOTBALL TEAM!!! Cmon!! 70 fucking points. I couldn't believe it. That was the greatest 4 hours of my life. Do you have any idea how perfect of a game you have to play in order for Frank The Tank to not flip out ONCE! That game was beautiful, you couldn't do that in Madden if you wanted to. The Miami Dolphins are a real life cheat code. There is no stopping this offense. Mike McDaniel is light years ahead of every head coach in the NFL when it comes to offensive play design and calling. This is just the beginning of a very special era.