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Former NY Mayor Bill DeBlasio And His Wife Are Separating, But Will Continue Living Together In Their House While Dating Other People

Drew Angerer. Getty Images.

Former NY mayor Bill DeBlasio and his wife of 29 years, Chirlane McCray, are separating. Obviously sad, if that's your sort of thing to feel sad about. But notably, the former couple has decided to continue living together, they're not getting a divorce, and they're going to date other people. Inside their home. Which they'll continue to cohabitate:

NY Times

Mr. de Blasio and Ms. McCray are separating.

They are not planning to divorce, they said, but will date other people. They will continue to share the Park Slope townhouse where they raised their two children, now in their 20s…

“One of the things we’re saying to the world is we don’t need to possess each other,” he added.

They will continue to share the home “for the time being,” Ms. McCray said.

Ms. McCray asked dryly if their phone numbers could be included in the newspaper.

“Can I put a picture from the gym in there?” Mr. de Blasio asked. (He added that he was “not a believer” in online dating.)

Call me old-fashioned, but if you're married for three decades and you decide to call it quits, you owe it to each other to leave the marriage with a burning, vile hatred for one another. That's the American way! Anything less is unAmerican, anti-patriotic, and certainly not in keeping with a former mayor of New York. Perhaps I come from a traditional school of thought, but you shouldn't even be able to stand being in the same room as each other, let alone continue living in a home together, let alone filling up a glass of water for each other in the kitchen as you both emerge from separate bedrooms covered in a glistening sweat from raucous bone seshes with whomever you each discovered at the spaghetti mixer. 

Somehow, this move seems to be one of the rare popular moves DeBlasio has made in the eyes on New Yorkers:

“It’s inspiring what they’re doing,” said Kent McVey, 65, while on a walk in Park Slope with his wife of 43 years, Laura, 67, and their two dogs. “To me, that just shows that there is a deep, deep level of respect and friendship. If they don’t stay together and they end up dating other people and they marry someone else, they’re going to stay friends forever. What other way would you want it? I think that’s incredible. I love it.” - NY Times 

Save it, Kent. You don't know that. We don't know that they'll date other people and stay friends forever. What happens when Bill is banging the shingles off the house and his ROOMMATE, Chirlane, has to be up early for a 5K with her Park Slope running buddies? You think that friendship holds when she's trying to sleep but the gentle whir of her ambient noise machine can't hold a candle to the THUMP THUMP THUMP of their old cast-iron headboard through the paper thin wall of their brownstone? 

Not on your life. I understand the hopeful idealism of cohabitating for financial flexibility with your former spouse, especially in New York. But let's not forget that even more New York than taking on a weird roommate situation to make rent is that most New York quality of all: HATING your quirky roommate within the first week of your new arrangement. Suddenly, that comfortable couch you two enjoyed as a married couple becomes a highly-contested shared space. You ride home on a stifling subway, dreaming of a cold beer on that perfectly grooved spot on the couch in front of the AC unit, and… there she is. Your roommate, who used to be your wife, occupying your favorite zone. 

Playing music you don't like. Leaving wet towels on the stairway bannister. Fucking up your laundry by leaving a bleeding red sock stuck to the roof of the machine. 

It's only a matter of time. This is the law of nature. Living with your ex-wife in harmony is about as realistic as finding a parking spot on the street and hoping they don't ticket for alternate side parking Thursdays.