Man On Personal Booze Cruise Won't Leave Ship After Running Aground

You’re crushing Pina Coladas straight from the BJ (blender jug), Bertie Higgins is crooning about Key Largo on your speakers & you don’t have a care in the world when suddenly there’s an enormous jolt that sends all of your nautical knick knacks flying across the galley.

But ah, life’s a beach like that isn’t it? After popping above to survey the issue you see it’s no big deal, you just washed up onto the beach in Carlsbad, CA because you’re so completely wasted you forgot your boat was floating around in the ocean. So what.

Back below deck you crank up Bertie again, resume mixing up another batch of Pinas & toss in extra rum leaving worries in your wake. Sweet, sweet freedom of life on the seas.

Yet again, you’re interrupted from your blissful intoxication by the sound of helicopters, news crews, police, lights, sirens… fuck that.

You’re eyes go black, like a dolls eyes.

You pop above deck again & the Coast Guard is rambling something over a megaphone about how “you’ve crashed & need to leave the ship for your safety”.

Blahhh, blahhhh, blahhhh. Just like The Man to be all uptight about this kind of thing.

It’s time to up your drink game. You know what this calls for.

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As you slam one after the next you fortify your decision – You’re never giving up the ship.

Ope, he finally gave up the ship.

From Fox 5 San Diego:

An unusual stalemate came to an end early Wednesday morning when the captain of a sailboat that washed up along the coast of Carlsbad finally agreed to abandon the vessel.

It all started around 7 p.m. Tuesday when the sailboat ran aground at Carlsbad State Beach near Carlsbad Boulevard and Breakwater Road. The captain, who told Coast Guard officials he was having medical issues, refused to leave the boat, saying he wanted to be towed back to sea instead.

The Coast Guard wasn’t able to tow the man because the sailboat was only sitting in about a foot to a foot-and-a-half of water, officials explained. Carlsbad Police took over the situation and continued to ask the boater to leave the vessel, though the man continually refused, according to officers.

California State Parks, Encinitas Lifeguards and Carlsbad Fire Department officials were all involved at times as the situation lasted late into the night.

Around 3 a.m. Wednesday, the boater finally agreed to come off the boat and was taken away in an ambulance.

You’ll get ‘em next time drunk boat guy.