Tommy's Thursday Thoughts: Vol. 94 - Is Santa A Superspreader?

-Every day the Internet has a new “Can you solve this math equation?” problem, and it’s always just seeing if people know what PEMDAS is or not.  

-This thought is for ADULTS ONLY: I feel like parents are going to have a hard time explaining to some smart children how Santa is capable of operating during COVID. I know that as a smart kid who was also a germaphobe, I probably would’ve asked my parents if Santa could just leave the presents outside so we could disinfect them, instead of that fat fuck coming in and spreading germs from all over the world inside our home. 

-The guy in charge of hanging paintings at the Louvre must be the busiest man in the world. I like to imagine it’s just one guy who sees tweets saying “Hang this picture in the Louvre” and frantically running around to keep up with the many demands. 

-Due to my utter lack of traditional masculine characteristics, people might be surprised to know that I drink black coffee and order my steak medium rare. But I do. Happy International Men’s Day. 

-I would never order mussels for dinner. I don’t think the taste is that good. It’s kind of expensive. And I don’t feel like doing manual labor for my entire meal. 

-New talent I discovered recently: I do an amazing impression of a car blinker. (Please see video for impression and prepare to be wowed). 

-Someone DMed me the other day saying they can’t find my age on Google. It got me thinking that I really wouldn’t mind having a Wikipedia page. Now, I would never make one myself, but if someone out there would like to make one for me…. I won’t stop you. (Please someone do this for me). 

-I will address the elephant in the room because you’re all thinking it. Yes, I am wearing the coolest piece of clothing a person has ever worn. I couldn't keep up with all the compliments I was getting. Great color. Everyone loves pancakes. I am one cool dude. 

Thank you for your time.