Trump Appoints Belichick America's Sports Czar or Something
Source - President Trump is appointing a number of sports celebrities, including New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, to his “Council on Sports, Fitness, and Nutrition,” Axios has learned.
Why this matters: Trump signed an executive order in February to rebrand the council so that it’s more focused on encouraging kids to take up sports — a theme Ivanka Trump highlighted at the Winter Olympics. …
Under the Obama administration, the council focused more on nutrition and Michelle Obama’s quest to make school lunches healthier.
What’s new: According to a source with direct knowledge, alongside Belichick, Trump will also appoint golfer Natalie Gulbis, three-time Olympic beach volleyball gold medalist Misty May-Treanor, retired Major League Baseball pitcher Mariano Rivera, retired NFL running back Herschel Walker, and Dr. Mehmet Oz.
Jesus H, Bill Belichick. There is just no let up with this guy. When he’s not at the Garden watching his Celtics win and his boss hold a Hip Hop Summit, he’s taking calls from the President about Tom Brady’s status and getting appointed America’s Sports Czar. Or something.
Were it any other coach or executive in Boston, I’d tell him to give this offer a ginormous “Thanks but no thanks.” I’d want say, Danny Ainge or Alex Cora or Don Sweeney laser focused on the job at hand. And to give anything that would distract them from winning another ring a good leaving alone. But with Belichick, I like that he’s being handed this much power. I trust that he’ll wield it like the Infinity Gauntlet to reshape the world to fit his master vision.
Sure, you can argue that the Council on Sports is just a ceremonial thing. But that’s what they said about being the hc of nyjs after Bill Parcells stepped aside. And The Hooded One used that moment to amass his empire. Give him a little honorary power and he’ll become omnipotent. He’s had a laundry list of things he’s wanted to see done and the chickenshit NFL is so terrified of him, they try to thwart him at every turn. But now as head of the Council he can play the long game. Go through America’s youth in order to eventually see his utopia made real:
–More padded practices
–Bring back 2-a-days
–A return to 2003 rules, before the Colts outlawed defense
–A return of 2014 rules, before the Ravens outlawed Ineligible Receivers
–A return of 2016 rules, before the Ravens outlawed jumping the center
–One full quarter of overtime played by regular rules
–Cameras in the end zone pylons
–Unlimited cameras pointed at sidelines to tape coaches’ signals
–Limited goddamned microphones:
–And most of all, no more of this fucking Pliability stuff. America’s youth are going to lift weights, run gassers, do Bear Crawls on the hill and load carbs by the kilogram the way their fathers and grandfathers did. And we’re going to put an end to this resistance band training and eating dehydrated algae bullshit once and for all.
–Plus, there’ll be lots more lacrosse.
So with respect to all the other people on the panel, the hot golfer:
.
the Beach Volleyball lady, the best reliever of all time, the most dominant college football player ever and the guy who gives medical advice to our nation’s shut ins, we all know who’s going to be running the show. And who’ll be Making America’s Sports, Fitness and Nutrition Great Again.
@jerrythornton1