'Outdoor Enthusiast' Gets Attacked By A Shark, Scalped By A Bear, And Bitten By A Rattle Snake All Over The Course Of Four Years

Source - When Dylan McWilliams was bitten by a shark Thursday in Hawaii, it meant he had been bitten by a shark, a bear and a rattlesnake – all in less than four years.

In Thursday’s attack, about 50 yards from Shipwreck’s Beach off Poipu, McWilliams suffered deep cuts to one of his legs, but the injury wasn’t life-threatening, Hawaii News Now reported.

“The scariest part was swimming back,” he told the news outlet, adding that he was hoping the shark wouldn’t continue following the trail of blood from his leg.

Last July, McWilliams told the paper, he received nine staples in his scalp after a nearly 300-pound bear invaded his Colorado campsite.

“The bear grabbed the back of my head and started pulling me and I was fighting back as best as I could,” he told Hawaii News Now. “It dropped me and stomped on me a little bit, and I was able to get back to the group and they scared it away.”

As for the rattlesnake, that encounter occurred about three and a half years ago in Utah, McWilliams told the Star-Advertiser. Luckily, he took in only a small amount of venom, so he was only briefly ill afterward, he told the newspaper.

I imagine God is having a similar reaction to Austin Powers after he fell out of a ten-story building.

That said, no group of people, with the exception of vegans, is as vocal about their interests as ‘outdoor enthusiasts.’ So as much as I don’t want to say I’m happy this guy got attacked by a shark, I’m happy he got attacked by a shark. And a bear. And a snake. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wild story and I’m glad he’s okay, there’s just something oddly satisfying about an old-fashioned animal attack. Especially when it happens to a crunchy outdoorsman. Which leads me to this question: would you rather be attacked by a shark, a bear, or a snake?

For me it goes snake, then bear, then shark. A lot of people would put snake last because of the venom but you have to remember that snakes are a one-trick pony. All they have is their bite and in some cases constriction. Which is more scary than dangerous (to a human). Johnny Knoxville fought two of them in a ball pit and was laughing the whole time.

Not to mention all you need is a garden hoe to kill one. Bears, on the other hand, would be a nightmare to battle. They can climb, they can swim, they can run. Basically, if a bear decides to attack you, you’re dead. Or in Dylan’s case you end up getting scalped like an extra from The Patriot. The only reason I put bear in front of shark is because you can see the attack coming so you have time to brace yourself. That and because according to Instagram this guy fought a bear in 1949 and won.

So there’s a chance I wouldn’t end up like Timothy Treadwell.

Sharks, on the other hand, would be a nightmare. Unless you’re a seal, they essentially attack you in nibbles and wait for you to drown. The only way you get out of a shark attack is by swimming to land or punching it in its gills. Which if you’ve ever tried to throw a punch underwater, you know is impossible. Then you have the salt water, the waves, the lack of breath. No thanks. I’ll take snakes and bears over sharks any day.

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I’d be curious to find out which one Dylan hated the most. Whatever the case, I’m glad to see he survived the attack and is making a speedy recovery. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to write this blog. So thanks, Dylan. Keep up the good work and try to stay out of harm’s way.