My New Best Friend Is A 13-Year-Old Named "General Guerrero" Who I Met On A Fortnite Binge And I May Have To Adopt Him
Watch Teach Smitty Fortnite pt 3 from barstoolsports on www.twitch.tv
Full stream is above, and The General makes his heralded appearance around the 3 hour mark. 3:04:50 specifically. Below are some clips of both his leadership and our friendship.
How does a grown man on the wrong side of 30 drinking whiskey to dull the pain spewing from his shoulder/life on a Wednesday night randomly become best friends with a 13-year-old? I…I don’t know. And at this point I’m too afraid to ask. All I know is life, uh, finds a way. What is meant to be will be.
Last evening was my second straight evening of a pure Fortnite binge. The first night consisted of one, count ‘em, ONE overall victory which occurred 5 hours, 43 minutes, and 21 seconds into the stream. That was also a solid 2 hours after my ass fell asleep and 20 minutes after the eyes started to bleed. Nonetheless, we prevailed like champions. Last night featured a drastic improvement as it only took 5 hours, 41 min, and 52 seconds of streaming to record the first Victory Royale. What can I say? Champs stay champs. But it wasn’t until around 3 hours into the gameplay where we found our true calling, and that came from a pure man of all men disguised as a teenager playing video games, General Guerrero:
I can’t say if it was love at first Twitch. In fact, thanks to stern legal advice, I definitely won’t. But now that General Guererro and I are scheduled to go to war next week over his Spring Break in between soccer practices and naptimes means we are officially best friends. Can’t wait to continue (almost) conquering the multiplication table and spraying “Kobe’s” all over people’s faces till one of us grows up. Spoiler Alert: It won’t be me.
At the end of the binge, The General was not in command during our Victory Royale as it was a solid 4 hours past his bedtime, but he was with me in spirit. Not so much with my shot and its 6% accuracy, but definitely in spirit. Long Live General Guerrero.
PS – Just a couple of proud Papas discussing whose 13-year-old is winning more at life.
PPS – Not gonna lie, if some of the things said during our stream were put down on a court transcript with no context whatsoever, it would be no es bueno for Big Brother Smitty. The way The General invited me to over to play video games may cause some real life problems I did not sign up for working for Barstool.
