Greg Oden Will Enter The Big 3 Draft Combine

LETS DO THIS BIG FELLA!!! I don’t know why, but I feel like I need to see Greg Oden succeed and be happy on a basketball court to be truly happy myself. Granted, he is probably doing just fine with the *opens Google* $24 million(!!!) he made during his “playing” days. But Oden still always looks so fucking sad whenever you see him. Yeah he was born with a face that made him seem 30% sadder and 30 years older than he really was. But Sarah McLachlan music always plays in my head whenever I see old highlights of him hobbling on a court.

Still, Greg Oden being able to play and dare I say thrive in a half-court league could be the real life, basketball version of Field of Dreams. We find out Ice Cube heard “Ease his pain” in his head years ago, built an entire league based on that voice, and finds out that the reason for all of this was to make Greg Oden happy on a basketball court as confetti falls on Oden after he leads the Killer 3’s to a chip. Kevin Durant may be the reigning NBA Finals MVP, but if Greg Oden can get buckets in the Big 3 (you know he will get drafted because you can’t teach size), I think we could call the 2007 NBA Draft a wash at worst.

…Or Oden gets hurt in the first minute of his first game or even worse his broken down body looks like KFC’s while doing the combine’s come drill and Oden gets roasted on Twitter for hours straight. I really hope that doesn’t happen though.