Sad News For All Of The Hopeful Lovers Out There - Paige VanZant Is Engaged

Aw damn. Thought maybe I’d rise the ranks of regional mixed martial arts circuits in the tri-state area, create enough buzz to get scouted by Dana White and Matt Serra on “Lookin’ For A Fight”, get a tryout for The Ultimate Fighter, win my tryout for The Ultimate Fighter, compete in The Ultimate Fighter, win The Ultimate Fighter, have a bunch of UFC Fight Pass fights, get promoted to the FS1 prelims, win a couple fights in front of a national audience and run my mouth a bit, calling out fighters way beyond my pay-grade, open up a UFC pay-per-view, win my first pay-per-view fight (getting a performance of the night bonus in the process), call out Paige VanZant, get a fight against Paige booked (since we’d both be competing in the Women’s Flyweight division), and then when Big John McCarthy looked at me and said “FIGHTER, YOU READY?!”, I was going to say, “No, I’m not ready. I don’t wanna do this Paige. I’m a lover, not a fighter. How bout we go see a Star War at the theater?”, and then we’d go and then live happily ever after and get married and all that. Maybe not tho. Congrats.

Here’s Paige highkicking her lucky fiancé in the face by accident.

Guess he might have more muscles than me, too. One or two more. Whatever. Might be the lighting difference in pictures.