Chris Paul Led The Rockets Down A Secret Passageway To Go Beat Up Austin Rivers
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What a story on multiple levels. First and foremost… who has secret tunnels connecting the visiting and home locker rooms? What kind of Red Auerbach type of shit is that? Like does the visiting locker room at Staples Center have a painting hanging with mysterious shifty eyes like every Scooby Doo episode ever? What kind of mayhem and mischief was Kobe causing in this alleged secret tunnel? Are there multiple secret tunnels at Staples Center? There have to be, right? You don’t build one secret tunnel and then call it a day. With this story comes nothing but many more questions that we’ll sadly never get the answers to. A real shame.
As for what we do know, Chris Paul played against his former team and it got chippy as fuck. Naturally, Austin Rivers in street clothes watching from the bench was the crux of the most friction as he continues to have one of the more punchable faces in the Association. Mike Dan Tony also was incredibly fed up and got into a screaming match with Blake Griffin. Whatever, plenty of shit gets said on the court and then subsides by the time the game ends. No biggie. Very rarely do we get a KG-Melo at the bus because one guy said the other guy’s wife smells like Honey Nut Cheerios. Yet, here we are.
Shoutout Gerald Green, a man who’s been on the Rockets for about a fortnight, ready to storm an opposing locker room and throw hands without any questions. That’s a certain “it” factor that gets overlooked by too many scouts and front offices. Trevor Ariza very clearly wanted to fight anyone and everyone in that locker room so he mounted up sans hesitation. Meanwhile Chris Paul, the man who led everyone down this tunnel causing this kerfuffle, suddenly turned into a wallflower once they got face to face. Surely he was waiting for the most opportune moment to strike, and by strike I mean hit someone who wasn’t looking in the testicles.
Anyways, what a momentous occasion, as this dust up marks the first time a guy named Trevor tried to fight a Blake and an Austin and it didn’t happen at a frat party.
PS – I know NBA fights are a lot of “hold me back” and baseless threats, but Patrick Beverley is not one to be trifled with. Silver might want to preemptively suspend him for the rest of their matchups for the rest of time just to play this one safe.