Let's Cut The Shit And Cream Green With This Eagles Playoff Promo: Rise Above
Playoffs, baby. Playoffs. It’s only Tuesday, but it’s never too early to warm up the sac and get the juices flowing to the point of ejaculation. In fact, it’s borderline too late. I’m actually surprised Jetro Lot isn’t already filled with all the glorious degeneracy Delaware County and the Greater Philadelphia Area has to offer. Am I worried the Eagles are the only team in NFL history to be underdogs as a #1 seed vs a #6 seed? Fuck no. The Eagles have essentially been dismissed all season and even more so after the Wentz Wagon broke an axle. Take it up the Cox:
However, I am worried about how well the Falcons are playing right now. Beating a young, inexperienced Rams team on the road in the first round is one thing. Having a Dan Quinn defense turn it on and hold opponents to just over 16 points a game in their last 5 contests is another (3-2 with loses vs the Saints and Vikings, although 1 of those wins was vs. the Saints, too). You don’t exactly wanna fuck around with a team whose coming off a Super Bowl disaster and turning on the jets at the right time.
Still, history is on our side. Eagles 4-0 in home divisional playoff games. Eagles 3-0 in playoffs as home underdogs. The Falcons 0-2 in playoffs in Philly and Matty Ryan is 1-3 at the Linc. As of now, there’s a 50% chance of showers during gametime, which I like. The messier the better. Sure, a 2018 Snow Bowl would be a great welcome for these Southern fucks, but any sort of inclement weather would be to the Birds advantage. I believe Big Dick Nick will return to somewhat better form than the last two games (Translation: He fucking better* or I’ll see you the edge of the Walt Whitman). But the road to the Super Bowl is going to go right through the darkness that is this Eagles defense. If Schwartz’s boys don’t perform, even with Wentz and a fully healthy squad this team ain’t going to the dance.
Be prepared. Now watch this video of Brian Dawkins about violently take the field and continue to Cream Green and/or blood.
*Everybody needs to relax on Foles. As Rone and I talked about extensively on out bs excuse for a podcast to shoot the shit about Philly Sports – “First Time, Long Time” – he’s a Torrey Smith potential TD drop away from looking adequate in the Cowboys game. NOBODY wanted to be at that Raiders game freezing their balls to the bone on Christmas night, so chalk that one up as whatever. Just remember when he slung for 4 TD’s vs. the Giants and when he led them on a game winning drive at the Rams. Also 27-2. He’s no Wentz and he’ll need help, but Foles can certainly be the guy we need.
#IBelieveInBigDickNick