Cubicle Chronicles: "See You Next Year!"

Cube life is filled with the most unfunny jokes the human race can think of. Dozens upon dozens of soul crushingly humorless jokes that corporate zombies mercilessly beat to death. Everything from “Working hard or hardly workin?” to “Thats why they pay me the big bucks!” to the Hump Day Camel jokes. But there’s one joke that makes you physically cringe. It makes you have the same reaction as when you stub your toe. You scrunch your shoulders and close your eyes and it feels like there is pain actually running through your body when you hear it.

“See you next year!”

Every time a person says “see you next year!” when we’re only days away from January 1st, there’s a Cube Monkey somewhere that falls down dead. Its the number 1 thing that divides the Walking Dead from the normal people. And what I mean by that is there are a lot of corporate buzzwords and small talk pleasantries that are fucking terrible but everyone succumbs to them in the corporate world. Bringing up stuff like the weather and what not. But if you’re a normal person, you will never make the See You Next Year Joke. Never. Theres a clear line in the sand. You’re either a broken man who thinks thats funny and needs to be yucking it up with your coworkers or you’re a normal human being that realizes its in no way shape or form remotely funny to say see you next year when New Years is only a week away. So take a look at yourself in the mirror and honestly answer if you’ve ever made this joke.

And if you have, kill yourself.