Luke Skywalker Roasted Ted Cruz Last Night

I’m going to try to break this whole exchange down as best I can, but I still know very little about New Neutrality so just hang in there. Basically, this all started when Ajit Pai, who is seemingly the devil, made a video making fun of everybody who wanted Net Neutrality (free internet like we have now). In that video, he’s holding some Star Wars toys and the Star Wars theme is playing in the background.

Because of that, Mark Hamill decided to inform him, as this Twitter user put it so eloquently, “Luke Skywalker would hate you, personally, in canon.”

“You are profoundly unworthy to wield a lightsaber – a Jedi acts selflessly for the common man, NOT lie to enrich giant corporations.”

That’s my fuckin’ boy!!! Lyin’ Ted Cruz jumped in and made a BIZARRE Star Wars analogy, kinda trying to explain the dynamic of the franchise to the son of Darth Vader, and it made no sense at all.

I think what Ted Cruz is ATTEMPTING to say here is that the Empire would’ve wanted Net Neutrality because it means more power for them? It’s incredibly hard for me to read it that way, but it must be what he’s saying. It’s like he actively tried to argue against his own point. Then…Luke Skywalker hit him with the “Amazing. Every word that you just said – is wrong.”

How ’bout this Ted? No more internet fights for a while. You watched porn on Twitter. That’s a trump card for literally everyone. Ted Cruz could attack someone with the most truthful and piercing statement ever, and he’d still lose the argument as long as they responded, “lol ‘member when you watched porn though?” Probably best to stay away from going after one of the more beloved pop culture icons in the world, as well.

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Just another dub for my close personal friend Mark Hamill.