Fantastic Video Of A Chinese Woman Wandering Distractedly Into A Parking Garage Car Elevator, Getting Smooshed By The Car

That… was… AWESOME. What an adventure! What a caper! There is no sweeter justice than that which befalls those who ignore the world for their phone. From ladies walking into water fountains at malls to guys getting run over by buses, our cell phone addiction has become more dangerous  than crack cocaine. This video, to me, is a perfect illustration of where one can end up when they don’t take stock of their surroundings. Our woeful Chinese lady thought she was stepping on to an ordinary elevator. And why wouldn’t she? She didn’t see the car drive out of it right before she entered, because she was playing candy crush. She missed the bright signs that say “cars only” and “if you are not a car, do not take this elevator.” Next thing you know, she finds the floor opening up beneath her feet, sending her down into the abyss.

There she goes. But she’s still not worried. Why? Because she’s got her phone. Everyone knows you’re never lost so long as you’ve got your phone with you! She can google her way out of this maze once the floor stops moving. Right? Until…

What a dramatic shot! It’s like they strapped a camera to the side of a bull. Spielberg himself couldn’t have heightened the drama beyond what the’ve managed in this parking garage. The unsuspecting moron lady STILL thinks she’s fine. Oh, I’ll just walk straight out, she thinks. I’m sure the car will move out of my way. Haha you dummy! This is China, where everything is automated! There’s nobody driving that car and nobody around to press an emergency stop button. Car, meet face. Welcome to the 21st century, where machines always win. And that includes your cell phone, which probably had a hand in setting this whole thing up.