Jay-Z Says The Strongest Thing A Man Can Do Is Cry; Some Strongman Footage To Prove Him Wrong

Apparently Jay-Z has never heard of Magnus Samuelsson.

You know, 1998 Strongman of the Year Magnus Samuelsson? The strongest thing a man can do is cry? Uh, no, the strongest thing a man can do is throw a 15 kg keg clean over a 7.25 m bar. All the drug-dealing, twin-birthing and Solange-fighting in the world couldn’t give Jay-Z enough strength to make it out of the first round of a World’s Strongest Man contest.

The only thing sweeter than rap in the 90s was strong man competitions. And like much great programming to follow them, they were eventually cancelled by ESPN 2. But not before we had gems like Samuelsson breaking Nathan Jones arm back in 1995.

Sure the emotional strength Jay-Z is talking about seems cool for an emasculated former street legend. But can Jay-Z pull the chassis of a big fucking plane a couple feet using only his shredded up bod? I strongly don’t think so, and we better hope Beyonce doesn’t see this video, because she’ll make Jay-Z a single dad real fucking quick if she catches wind that dudes are dragging jets.

Sure Jay-Z has cars. Probably even pickup trucks. But can he pick up trucks? He might have picked Beyonce up in a car. But has he ever picked her up while she was in a car? Because if she catches wind of Whit Baskin it could be curtains.

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Jay-Z famously said his “stamina be enough for Pamela Anderson Lee.” Is his stamina enough to lift a sedan? Because these viking beasts would probably have Jay-Z really showing his strength, crying in the corner.

Hova’s quote is part of a New York times discussion he had, where among other things, he has the bad idea of putting Dave Chappelle in office.

It’s all part of what is surely a publicity tour surrounding S_C_’s recent Grammy nominations for his album 4:44. His cultural relevance is undeniable, in that he’s getting NYT interviews about crying, but his inclusion in the Grammy nominations appears to be a formality. He has name recognition, so he’ll get the nod, regardless of what’s actually happening in rap.

And yeah, Jay-Z used to move rock. But could he move stone?