It's Monday, But, Hey, At Least You Didn't Try To Hop Over A Raging Bull And Get Launched Into Orbit

10 for the dismount. Absolute-0 for the landing. Yeah, this morning sucks, but at least you don’t have to worry about being sent into space with a shattered spine. That was beautiful. Dumbass poetry in motion. It reminds me of that one time Kobe Bryant jumped over that speeding sports car coming to decapitate his legs:

Very similar circumstances. And by similar I mean the Ashton Martin video was faked and Kobe was never at risk of living the rest of his days drinking through a straw. But the thought process was somewhat there for both. Just awful execution by the matador actually attempting the jump. Nobody should ever hop over a raging beast charging with sharp horns meant to impale all the organs. Or at least give the matador protection, like an inflatable forcefield, and make bubble ball bullfighting the next major worldwide sports. That’ll put the asses in the seats and the brains in the blender. SEND ALL OF IT.