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Sex Robot Molested By Nerds At Electronics Festival

HuffPo- The man behind an “intelligent” sex robot named “Samantha” says the kinky creation needs to be repaired thanks to “barbarians” at a tech industry festival.

The randy robot is programmed with artificial intelligence so that she responds to gentle seduction. Samantha seemingly gets more aroused the more she’s “romanced.”

That didn’t happen at the festival. Instead, “Samantha” was molested and seriously damaged by attendees.

“The people mounted Samantha’s breasts, her legs and arms. Two fingers were broken. She was heavily soiled,” he said, according to Britain’s Metro news site. ”People can be bad. Because they did not understand the technology and did not have to pay for it, they treated the doll like barbarians.”

Even though Samantha’s breasts and some other body parts were badly damaged by the sex-crazed Austrian horde, the AI software in the robot still worked perfectly. When Santos asked the doll, “How are you?” it responded, “Hi, I’m fine,” according to Daily Star.

That gave the inventor cause for hope. “Samantha can endure a lot, she will pull through,” he said, according to the British tabloid.

Listen, you bring a sex doll to a nerd convention, chances are she’s going to end up “heavily soiled.” This doll is an absolute smoke, and a MAJOR change of pace from all the other robots at the fair. When you’ve seen 300 stupid, regular robot inventions in a row, and all of a sudden you stumble upon this rocket babe, you have to expect that these nerds are going to lose their minds. Look at those eyes… those lips… that skin? Nobody stood a chance. I’m surprised she’s still functioning. Tough gal.

But your heart breaks for the guy who invented her. Clearly he’s in love with her:

Poor dude is so far gone that he has no idea she’s a robot anymore. Look at the way he hugs her, staring into those emerald dragon eyes set off by her outrageously tan skin. Hey Samantha, I know it looks unnatural, but you should switch to spray tanning. You’re going to melt babe.

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That hug sent shivers down my spine. Somebody make this guy a Bumble account and set the search parameters to “human beings.” We need to bring him back, if we can. It looks like it’s too late.

“I think people have just become over-excited and treated her like a sex doll. She isn’t a sex doll, she is a robot with AI,” he said. 

I know a sex doll when I see one, and dude, she’s a sex doll. She’s a doll that is programmed to have sex. Until she starts malfunctioning and using her robot vagina to dismember the penises of overeager consumers, in a plot to eventually take over the world, she’s a doll. Of course I’m terrified that robots will become self-aware and enslave the human race, but if the world was run by Samantha and a bunch of her pussy posse pals, it might not be so bad.