Little Kids Swearing Is Undefeated Comedy

Is laughing and endlessly re-watching a two-year-old child mumble fuck to himself, like a crazy person, immature? Perhaps. Perhaps it is, but I don’t give a damn. There are some things that will always be hysterical: a poorly timed fart, a toddler swearing, and saying two things to set up a third that is comparatively zany. They’ll never fail.

You ever had a cousin who would swear? Hit of the family party, every time. The whole gang sitting around the table, slapping their knees, as the little fella rounds around the house like he’s a superstar, soaking up every laugh and growing his own ego while his parents say “No! No! Noooo! Stop! Timmy stop saying that!” We used to do it with my cousin all the time, he couldn’t say “truck” so we’d give him a fire truck and tell him to run in the adult room and announce it. Didn’t matter if it was a regular family dinner, Christmas, or Mem’s funeral, child swearing is always guaranteed to lighten the mood and bring smiles.

Toddlers are nothing but miniature sized, drunk, dock workers anyway? Why shouldn’t they talk like them. Commit to the character.

If you want to call me unsophisticated that’s fine, I’ll wear that. But you can keep your kings of comedy, give me a baby mumbling “fuck” all day and I’ll be content. Adorable and hysterical, a rare combo.

PS – That last “fuckkkkkk” is such an adult fuck. That’s a kid whose wife just told him she’s leaving him.