Cesaro's Teeth Were SHOVED Into His Upper Jaw After A Brutal Botch Last Night

During the RAW Tag Team Championship match at No Mercy, Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose vs Cesaro/Sheamus, Cesaro planted himself face first into the ring post, and we all quickly realized he miiiiight have been a bit too stiff with himself when he had no fucking teeth left. He didn’t miss a beat, continued the match, and put on a fucking KILLER performance. He did the heavy lifting in what turned out to be the match of the night, with a bit of help from the bloody, toothless, and downright brutal visuals.

Upon further review, though, Cesaro didn’t lose any teeth. Not one. Turns out the teeth we thought he knocked out of his skull were just SHOVED SO FUCKING FAR INTO HIS GUMS THAT THEY DISAPPEARED AHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD I CAN’T EVEN TYPE THAT WITHOUT FREAKING OUT. WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW?!

“Cesaro’s teeth were pushed up into his upper jaw by about 3 to 4 mm,” WWE medical personnel Dr. Daquino explained. “The next step is for him to see a maxillofacial surgeon today, most likely removing the teeth and then having some implants made. So hopeful we will have him up and running after Tuesday or so.”

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This injury is maybe the most painful thing I could possibly imagine. Lob my cock right off before you put my teeth back where they came from. Nuh uh. No thanks.