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I'll Tell You What, Cyclists Messed With The Wrong Dude

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Bet they had no idea that I had access to a t-shirt making machine. You want a war? You’ll get a war. And guess what? Can’t have that war without uniforms. You guys wear your stupid leotards and helmets, we’ll wear these very fashionable shirts that say “hey, maybe I won’t run you over on purpose because that would be really mean, but if you think I’m looking over the shoulder before I open my Uber door you’re outside of your mind, friend.”

May the best man/steel door win.

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