This Multi-Layered Go-Kart Track Is Straight Out Of Roller Coaster Tycoon And Needs To Be Conquered

Narcity – Get your childhoods ready – a slew of new attractions are coming to Niagara Falls, and one of them will let you live out your deepest Mario Kart fantasies. HOCO Limited, a privately-held tourism and resorts company, is almost finished building a massive Mario-Kart-esque racetrack in Clifton Hill, which is the entertainment strip of the Falls. They’re calling it the “Niagara Speedway” and it will be the first attraction of its kind in Canada, as well as the largest in North America. The addition is part of an ongoing development project started in 2015 aimed towards the revitalization of Niagara Falls tourism.

Start your engines, bitches! We’ve got ourselves a multi-layered real life Mario-Kart course coming to a tourist town not near you! A Double-Decker map, minus the battle portion and bullshit green shells bouncing off the walls and sniping your Donkey Kong dick off, if you will. OK.
Those pictures leave a lot to the imagination. But nothing gets the blood boiling like a Go-Kart race with the boys. It’s pure competition to the max. Or you can take the ol’ lady out for a little weekend stroll, allow her to end herself on the track, then continue your Saturday for the boys.

But anyone whose business school knowledge comes solely from video games knows that adding a Go-Kart track to your amusement park gets the asses to the venue. That line in Roller Coaster Tycoon was so long it almost eclipsed a line waiting for Disney’s Rock n’ Roller Coaster or a Sunday afternoon Trader Joe’s hipster parade to the cashier. So kudos to Niagara Falls for adding an A+ attraction to their venue. Now the only thing left is to go full Roller Coaster Tycoon and build a couple coasters into nowhere or drown a few thousand patrons. Nothing like pulling a Bill Burr and go functioning psychopath on the virtual masses. Be your own God (volume OFF).