What If I Told You That Sunburns Are Actually Avoidable?

For much of my younger life, I was against wearing shirts in the pool. I thought it made me look like a weakling. I thought that people would rightly assume that I was self-conscious about the size of my nipples which are totally normal and not small compared to the rest of my body (despite the rumors). About 3 years ago, I went full out sun shirt mode. It’s changed my sun life.

You see, I have ginger tendencies. I’m not a full blown ginger but I have a red beard. As such, the sun fucks me up, fam. I get fever blisters and shit if I get too sunburned. I can’t be out in the Texas sun for longer than like 20 minutes without getting ate the fuck up by the big bitch of billowing gas in the sky. That is, without my sun shirt.

Fuck the sun. Buy some sun shirts. Tell your co-workers who are in agony because they didnt wear sunscreen or sun shirts to buy some too. That way you won’t have to listen to them bitch like a little bitch because the sun hurt them again.

I wore these all weekend and at Disney world. Zero sunburns.