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Here Are The Best Goals And Cellys From The Under Armour All-America Lacrosse Game

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The Under Armour All-America Lacrosse Game is essentially the same thing as the McDonald’s All-America basketball game. The only difference is these kids are going to go on to spend 4+ years at their higher education institution instead of just One&Done-ing their way off to the NBA after their freshman year. Why? Because lacrosse players put the STUDENT in Student-Athlete. They realize that education is the future of this nation and aren’t tempted by the millions and millions of dollars they can make playing professional sports as a 19-year-old. But that’s besides the point. Because on Saturday night, the best recently graduated high school lacrosse players were on display down at Towson for the annual All-America game and it was filled with some filthy snipes, some dirty dangles and some primetime cellys. Here’s the best of the best.

Nothing like some backhanded cheese to get the party started. That’s a rip from 8-yards out, catching the feed from traffic, hitting the brakes and ripping the twine on the backhand. Big time goal from a big time player. Which, of course, calls for a quick round of Duck-Duck-Goose.

Speaking of ridiculous backhand goals, allow me to formally introduce everybody to Tehoka Nanticoke. He spent the last few years playing at IMG Academy down in Florida. Is a player on the Six Nations team and is heading to Albany next year. Imagine if Lyle Thompson and Matt Rambo had a baby. Tehoka Nanticoke would be that love child.

I didn’t get a chance to watch SportsCenter yesterday but that goal better have been on Top 10 Plays. So smooth. So confident. Kid is unreal with the ball in his stick. Also a damn fine celebrator as well.

Also knows how to dish the rock as well so he’s as close to a complete player as you’ll find.

I know it’s just an all star game so you’re not going to see the greatest defensive efforts out there. But how the big fella was able to maneuver through that double team was more beautiful than any piece of art you’ll ever see in any museum.

Next on deck we’ll get to probably the most creative celebration from the night. This one took some serious brain power to orchestrate.

What’s better than this? Just guys bein’ dudes.

Next up we had… well I don’t really know what this is. But I guess it’s a couple of white boys showing the world that we are, in fact, equally as dorky as everybody assumes.

Guarantee you these kids haven’t eaten a slice of pizza in 12 months without saying “One bite, everybody knows the rules”.

Just adding this one in here because Matt Moore is a local product out of Delco and I always gotta show love to Delco. Plus that’s a fucking rip from 13.

Not pretty. But that is a man’s goal. Meat and potatoes goal. Doesn’t get grittier than that in an all-star showcase game.

I don’t always condone emulating TO but I’ll make an exception for this one. Gotta appreciate the balls it takes to stash a Sharpie in the back of the net knowing that you’re going to break this celebration out at some point throughout the game. Even if it came off an empty-net goal.

And finally. The celebration of the weekend. So good that Viral even took it upon himself to blog it…

RKO OUT OF NOWHERE

And thus concludes another Under Armour All-America game. Uniforms were A1 quality. The nets were A1 quality. The goals were A1 quality. The celebrations were A1 quality. Just a great weekend all around for the game of lacrosse. But considering the MLL isn’t televised on cable, it’s the last lacrosse we’ll see on TV until February. At least the sport went out with a bang.

@BarstoolJordie