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DJ Khaled Telling The Story Of How "I'm The One" Came Together Is Like A Hilarious Music Porn

I can listen to DJ Khaled tell stories all day. Its  puts me in a trance. He speaks in a blend of melodic motivational quotes and catch phrases. I’m convinced he’s playing a game none of us understand, like the Andy Kaufman of the rap game. I mean, he’s hilarious, and if you think for one second he doesn’t know it, congratualations you played yourself. He’s so good at his character that people actually believe it.

Hearing him describe how “I’m The One” came together reminds me of Brad Pitt rounding up the crew for one more heist in Oceans Eleven.  You can’t make this stuff up, Khaled says himself that it was like movie. In case your’re an idiot and would rather read the breakdown than watch it here you go:

1. SCENE: INT. DAY
Loc. Bieber Manor:
Khaled calls shows up to the Bieber estate to find him playing piano. Khaled pulls out his traveling boom box to play the track. Bieber stops him. He invites a nervous Khaled into his FUR truck where they listen to the track. After several tense moments JB agrees to join the team.

2. SCENE: INT. NIGHT 
Loc. Michael Jackson’s Studio
Khaled shows up to the same studio where MJ recorded thriller. He begins touching the walls. Migos and Quavo show up. Quavo spits hot fire in less than five minutes. Khaled tells him “it’s a vibe.” The studio session ends.

3. SCENE: INT. NIGHT
Loc. Chance The Rapper’s Ocean View Malibu Home
Khaled hops in the Phantom cruises down the pacific coast highway to the home of Chance The Rapper. He interrupts  family dinner to play him the track. Chance hops in his home studio and knocks out six bars. Khaled speeds away.

4. SCENE: EXT. NIGHT
Loc. Behind the wheel of the Rolls
Khaled texts Lil Wanye “it’s a family thing.” He knows he got him. End scene.

And thats how DJ Khaled puts together the song of the summer. Maybe not enough material for a full length movie but you could definitly squeak twenty-two minutes out of it. In case you needed a reminder, here are the phrases he built his empire on: We The Best, All I do Is Win, I like (th)dat, Another OneVibe, Catch A Vibe,  Congratulations You Played Yourself, and Lion. They also make up 90% of his spoken word. Can’t be mad at the guy, he’s a hell of a salesman. Never not pushing his brand. He’s the living embodiment of ABC; always be closing. Can’t wait for the next Khaled story although I do kind of miss this guy:

 
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