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Katy Perry Ranks Who Is The Best At Sex - Diplo, John Mayer or Orlando Bloom

CNNThings were much lighter when Corden stopped by.

He asked Perry to rank from worst to best in the bedroom three of her exes: singer John Mayer, actor Orlando Bloom and DJ/producer Diplo.

Sorry, Diplo.

The list went Diplo, Bloom and Mayer.

“They’re all amazing lovers and I would have sex with all of them when I get out of this place,” Perry said.

Probably good news for Mayer, who has been quite open about Perry being his “one who got away.”

Poor fucking Diplo.   Poor, poor Diplo.  Somewhere in the radio room Frankie Borelli is smiling ear to ear reading about Diplo getting dragged through the mud all over the internet today for his weak dick game.

I mean let’s be clear.  It doesn’t matter how rich and successful you are, how many hit records you’ve had, how many times you’ve been on the top 40 charts.  It doesn’t matter how many women you’ve been with, if you’ve slept with a thousand of the most beautiful women in the world.  Being ranked last in a group of exes hurts.  Just as a man.  It stings.  Again you may have banged a Victoria’s Secret model last night and have an SI Swuimsuit model lined up for tonight.  Hearing an ex put you at #3 on a list of #3 for your fuck skills is a brutal blow.  Sure she may have softened the blow by saying they were all good blah blah.  Stats don’t lie.  3rd out of 3.  Dead last.  That’s just basic math – soul-crushing, ego-deflating math.

Can’t sleep on the savage move by James Corden here either.  Such a dick move setting Dip up like that. I mean John Mayer and Orlando Bloom?  Come on!  Nobody can compete with that.   Fucking John Mayer?!  You think this guy is competing with John Mayer-

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Yeah right.

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And Orlando Bloom’s dick may have been slightly underwhelming…but it’s still being wielded by Orlando fucking Bloom.  Chicks LOVE that guy.  There’s a 99% chance any girl you have ever dated has Orlando Bloom in her top 5 for a hall pass.   And everybody knows paddleboard dick is never your best dick for the record.

Still good enough to cement the #2 spot.

#PrayForDiplo

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