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Some Dude Wearing Body Armor And A Mask Crashed Into The Bunny Ranch And He Deserves The Death Penalty

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LAS VEGAS (AP) — A man wearing body armor and a mask backed a tractor-trailer through the gate of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch before dawn Thursday and crashed it into the front door of the famed Nevada brothel featured in the CatHouse reality television show, according to authorities and the brothel’s owner. Brian Brandt, 40, of Reno, was arrested and faces charges of assault with a deadly weapon, property destruction and possession of stolen property, the Lyon County Sheriff’s office said. Brothel owner Dennis Hof said none of the five employees, 30 female prostitutes and 10 customers inside at the time were hurt when the crash happened just after 4 a.m. The impact of the truck crashing into the building scared them and sounded “like a bomb going off,” Hof said, causing what he estimated at $400,000 damage. Hof said the suspect was wearing full body armor and a mask. He said he did not know Brandt and none of the people working at the brothel did.

 

FUCK. THIS. GUY. Brian Brandt is now on my Arya Stark list. You don’t just crash your truck into the place that provided me so many boners as a kid and expect to get away with it. No sir. The Bunny Ranch and the good folks at the Home Box Office used to be my main source of jerk off material. I’m sure that’s the case for some, if not many, of you reading. This is back in the day when streaming porn wasn’t as readily available as it is now. Those were the days when your parents would tell you that you got HBO, you’d pretend to be excited about all the movies you were gonna watch and then stay up until 3am beating off to Air Force Amy trying out new vibrators. I’m getting a nostalgia boner just thinking about it. And this asshole has the nerve to ram his truck into that magical place? Wearing body armor and a mask? What was he planning to do? I don’t even wanna think about it. All I know is he better watch his back cause there are about 10 million dudes ages 26-32 who wanna kill him now.