This Crazy Lady With Her Nips Out Talking Orgasms Is A Pretty Valid Reason Why We Should Not #FreeTheNipple

Video is NSFW and this is way early for a gross lady nipple but I’m sorry man, you need to see this:

The stuffed koala seems way too happy with this situation. The stripped naked Bratz doll not so much:

But my main takeaway from all this — besides the fact that Infinite Tsunami Nipple Brain Orgasm and Outsy Pussy Y Girl are two of the best punk rock band names you’ll ever hear — is that perhaps freeing the nipple as many Instagram hash tags is not as good an idea as it seems. For one, if this lady is correct, all of the nipples have been killed already and sucked into her vortex of nipple brain orgasms so it’s kinda pointless, nobody wants to see a bunch of dead nipples around. And secondly, this is REALLY the kind of person you’re inviting to be naked in your life if we adopted a more laissez faire to nudity in culture. You’re not seeing that hot blonde babysitter with a quality Instagram account naked in a park, you’re seeing ladies like this with their nips in your pants with stuffed assaulting you with all sorts of crazy hippie lady ideas. This lady seemed nice, the fact she had those pants on covering her belly is proof of that, but realistically it’s a thin line between having fun talking to/lightly making fun of this lady and her revealing the bottom half of the Bratz doll is actually a shank as she stabs you repeatedly in the eye. The risk of bad freed nipples may very well outweigh the positives of the good ones.

Also if we’re being honest, these orgasms she’s speaking about seem a little too much. She’s apparently having twenty minute long orgasms that she feels in her bone marrow? That seems downright painful. Plus just cumming all the time seems pretty awful. Those ladies who have illnesses where they’re getting off all the time always seem miserable whenever they’re on an episode of Maury or whatever other show parades people’s illnesses for laughs. I know it’s easy to get roped in when a saucy minx of questionable odor saunters over in a bear cap with her tits out offering you endless orgasms for your dead nipples but you’ve got to consider all the angles no matter how sharp her sales pitch is.