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Cubs World Series Champion Preview: Starting Rotation

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1. LHP Jon Lester. There isn’t much to say here that hasn’t already been said. Multiple World Series Championships. Leader. Cancer survivor. ATHLETE. Gentleman. Consistently dominant left-handed-front-of-the-rotation starter. Guy does it all. I’m not wasting any more paint here.

This is why I don’t smile. – Jon Lester

2. RHP Jake Arrieta. I’m a grown man. For better or worse, that’s a fact. So when I say the following, I know that – as a grown man – I am responsible for the consequences of my own actions. That said, I would gladly start AND lose the same fistfight defending Jake Arrieta’s honor and that is not a fucking joke. And if we’re being honest, there’s a good chance that actually happens. For now, let’s enjoy what will likely be his last season with the Chicago Cubs.

Also, monster value on Arrieta at 12-1 to win the Cy Young and I say that for several reasons, but notably because he’s the kind of guy that wants to prove his doubters wrong inside and out. Monster competitor. Arrieta has seen the worst side of professional baseball and now he’s riding his peak into free agency, and he wants to get paid. Like a lot. Like italics and emphasis and all that shit on “paid” to make it clear, this motherfucker is looking for a big contract. You mix that competitive nature with the right circumstances (i.e., free agency valuation) and the end result usually turns out pretty favorably. Final verdict: pound the righty 12-1 for NL Cy Young.

Let me be very clear before moving on. This is all great stuff. Just top to bottom great stuff and it doesn’t make Arrieta a bad dude in any sense of the word. Need I remind you that once upon a time he was PACKAGED … I repeat PACKAGED… for Scott Feldman. And now he’s earned his way into this fortunate position through his own hard work. I’ll lose my fucking mind the first… legit author’s note I already forgot that I opened this with saying I will get into a fight for Jake Arrieta and here I am creating and living in that fight. What a time to be alive.

3. RHP John Lackey: oh wait this guy?

Real talk Lackey is good for at least a baker’s dozen wins, 180+ innings, a bunch of awesome quotes and moderately-above average advanced metrics. There’s going to be a string of 4 or 5 starts in a row where he goes 7+ innings and looks like a wiz. Then there’s going to be a stretch of 100-pitch 4 inning starts. The question is whether or not any of that matters in the long run, and the answer is unequivocally no. He’s like a fake Blackhawks fan. Only here for the playoffs. Don’t mind the workhorse 33-start season in the process. Next.

4. LHP Brett Anderson: How much/long-lasting history the Cubs want to set this year rests on none other than Brett Anderson’s shoulders (for the pitchers at least). Heavy words for a guy 8 years removed from his best statistical year, but that’s basically where the club’s at right now. Mix in the heaviest active fastball (fact) with the best defense in baseball and I think you can get some positive results. Let’s hope he stays healthy. Bonus points for being a stoolie. Sup BA.

5. RHP Kyle Hendricks: GOOD LUCK

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Seriously. Good luck because this dude is just getting started. He’s commanding a four-seamer to set up a two-seamer with thoughts of a plus-plus change lingering in the hitter’s head. It’s devastating stuff and the fact that he throws 88mph and carries an Ivy League education has absolutely no impact on my analysis.