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Scientists Say That Cats Are Nice Creatures And Actually Enjoy Spending Time With Humans

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Telegraph- Dog lovers always tell cat lovers that while the latter animal smells less, doesn’t need walking and is arguably more intelligent, they don’t like humans and are fundamentally selfish. Cataholics have been vindicated, however, by a new study which relays the cheering news that cats don’t just enjoy human company – they pick it over food.

New research from Oregon State University, published on Friday in Behavioural Processes, concludes that cats enjoy human contact more than eating. Dispelling the rumour that cats are antisocial and the only love they show is cupboard love, they subjected cats to a series of tests to prove what they choose in different situations.

The researchers took 50 cats from shelters and peoples homes and deprived them of food, human contact, scent and toys for a few hours. They then introduced them to stimuli within these four categories to see what they chose. Most cats chose human socialisation over any of the other categories. The authors of the study wrote: “While it has been suggested that cat sociality exists on a continuum, perhaps skewed toward independency, we have found that 50% of cats tested preferred interaction with the social stimulus even though they had a direct choice between social interaction with a human and their other most preferred stimuli from the three other stimulus categories.”


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That right there is example number 1 billion that you can basically get science to say whatever you want it to if you manipulate the numbers or run the experiment enough times. Me personally? I’m a big fan of the eye test, gut instinct, and life experiences. And all three tell me that cats are evil, untrustworthy animals that would murder a human the moment they had the chance. Yeah they may have preferred to hang out with humans more than the other three stimuli or whatever these sciences were throwing out there. But that’s because cats know that cuddling up to a human can give them everything they need for survival. Air, water, food, and shelter. It has nothing to do with their love of humans. It’s all just a game to get what they need in the end. I’ve never thought cats were dumb. Quite the opposite. They are cold, calculating creatures like Gus Fring or Lex Luthor.

If we are being honest, I wouldn’t be shocked if this report was written by a cat that worked its ass off to get its Ph D or whatever scientists get in order to trick humans into trusting cats, which would ultimately lead to them destroying us as a species. The lack of opposable thumbs would make the spacebar no-man’s land, but I would never put anything past those beady-eyed, snakelike devil creatures.